


Roar of the Engine

by Jessymessy101



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Baby Jack Kline, Classic Cars, Deaf Castiel, Deaf Character, Designer Castiel, Engineer Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Eventual Romance, Eventually Destiel, Fire, Fluff and Angst, Hate to Love, Kelly Kline - Freeform, M/M, Mechanic Dean Winchester, Minor Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Office, Sign Language, Single Parent Castiel, Slow Romance, Swearing, bobby is the boss, description of fire, lisa and dean, mary and john are both deaf, reading lips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-08-14 17:57:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 41,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16497473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jessymessy101/pseuds/Jessymessy101
Summary: Castiel is a single Parent to Jack, being a single parent has its struggles, made worse by the fact Cas is deaf.When he is forced to work with Dean Winchester things are only about to get trickier. After all falling in Love with the very straight very taken mechanic can only end one way...





	1. Spark plug

It wasn’t the noise that woke Castiel from his deep sleep but the flashing light that flickered across his face. His eyes peeled open momentarily blinded by the bright sunlight shining through the window directly at him. He grunted as he strained to sit up in bed, sleep still heavy throughout his body. Once he was upright he spotted the source of the disruption.

 

“Jack, what are you doing?” Cas flung the covers off himself at the sight of his three year old wafting the curtains.

 

“Daddy, Gabe wont come down” Gabe, the boys slightly smaller than average ginger tabby cat had climbed the full length of the curtains and was seeking refuge on the curtain rail.

 

“Jack, you know daddy cant hear you when you aren’t looking at me” Cas got down on the ground level with the little boy and turned him to face him.

 

“Gabe won’t come down” Jack spoke emphasising his words for Castiel.

 

“I’ve told you before not to chase him” Castiel looked up to see the startled cat there was no way he was coming down any time soon so Castiel did the next best thing, he removed Jack from the equation. Scooping up the little boy and tipping him upside down over his back, Jack squealing with delight tapping his fathers back to get his attention.

 

“Time for breakfast little man” Cas put the squirming boy down in a chair and set about getting breakfast sorted. For Jack that meant a bowl of cereal and some orange juice. As soon as he put the bowl down Jack turned his nose up at it, he wasn’t in the mood for fruit loops today was the day he wanted captain crunch and he was on the verge of a full on melt down before Cas noticed.

 

“Jack, please don’t, not today!” Cas crouched down beside Jack at the table and grabbed his hands.

 

“Daddy, I didn’t want fruit loops” The boy sniffed fighting back the tears.

 

“I know baby but I need you to be really good for me today, that means no melt downs please, if you eat your breakfast I’ll treat you to ice cream later okay?” It seemed like a good compromise for Jack who sniffed once more and carefully took a spoonful of his breakfast.

 

They arrived at the office just in time, Jack had been sulking about breakfast all morning and Castiel was getting frustrated he had enough to worry about today as it was.

 

“Jack I need you to sit with aunty Charlie while I speak to my boss okay it wont take long and you’ve got your colouring book with you” Cas was fussing the little boy whilst rushing to separate his files from his sons colouring books. “Thanks for this, Charlie” Cas gestured to his friend the bright red headed girl who usually worked as his assistant but today she was part time babysitter.

 

“No problem, but you really need to get yourself a nanny or something” She saluted at Castiel as he gave Jack a quick kiss on the forehead and grunted something at Charlie before rushed off towards the boardrooms.

 

Cas worked for Singer’s auto development, had done for almost 10 years now and today was the day he would find out if he finally qualified for partner in the firm. Bobby Singer the founder of the company was a fair boss and someone that you could have a beer with outside of work and forget that he owned a multi million-dollar company. He set up the business as an auto salvage yard back in the 70s and had built it up to what it is today, the companies main income came from their second hand car dealerships. With around 80 plus dealerships across the country it was the leading name in second hand cars.

 

Recently, or within the last 4 years Bobby had branched out into engineering design. He was on the verge of releasing a brand new car that they had been working on for a number of years designing and building from scratch.

 

Today was Castiel’s opportunity to prove to Bobby that he was capable, he had his pitch all ready in his satchel bag that looked like it had seen some years and he was straightening his tie as he speed walked down the corridors. Due to Jack’s little tantrum this morning he was running a bit late.

 

He approached the door and to his delight he was the first one there, which gave him a bit of time to start getting his things ready. He was flattening the untameable strands of hair on his head when the door opened revealing a man Cas had never seen before but he was glad he was getting the opportunity now. The man stood frozen in the doorway eyes wide, as he looked Castiel up and down he was beautiful but not in a traditional way he was more rugged like he’d seen a few years and it showed in the rough stubble on his chin and the coarse skin on his hands. It was his eyes that gave away his true age, bright green with flecks of gold that looked like they were floating in an emerald pool.

 

“Hello, am I in the wrong room?” The man spoke, his voice deep and grating but only added to the manly appearance. It was a shame that Castiel couldn’t hear it.

 

Castiel was deaf.

 

“Um…I’m looking for Bobby Singer?” The mystery man asked taking a step further into the room.

 

Casjust stared at the man, despite being able to read lips this wasn’t doing him much good as all he could look at was the mans piercing green eyes, and the fact the man was currently looking around the room and not really facing him enough to read his lips.

 

“Please could you look at me when you speak to me” Cas announced, he could speak as he only went deaf a few years ago but his words was becoming less defined as the years went on.

 

“Excuse me! Why don’t you get off your high horse! I only asked a question” The man seemed annoyed by Castiel’s request almost finding it rude. When Cas didn’t respond the man continued, “Did you hear me, I said…” The man stopped mid sentence as the door flung open and Bobby Singer barged in the room.

 

“Castiel! Good you’re here already, take a seat and we will get started” He didn’t want to sit he was feeling the anger build up inside him at the rude man standing before him. Despite the man’s insanely good looks it didn’t excuse bad manners and he thought this guy was rude.

 

Cas turned to Bobby and began signing something, ‘With all due respect sir, I’d appreciate it if this gentleman were to leave during my pitch as I find him extremely rude’. Cas paused noticing the slight head tilt the man was giving him, confusion and hurt written across his face.

 

“Castiel this is Dean Winchester he’s going to be in charge of building your design, he’s also the companies new head of engineering design” Bobby knew sign language from working with Castiel for so long but he felt this was important enough to announce to the whole room. Cas stood in shock finally looking over at the man…Dean…who had taken a step back and was puffing out his chest slightly in a sort of arrogance Castiel couldn’t stand.

 

‘I’m sorry sir but I’m not sure I’m going to be able to work along side someone who is so intolerant towards…people with disabilities, sir’ Castiel signed at Bobby, he knew he was being rude about Dean but he didn’t care, he was pissed off and needed Bobby to know that. Besides its not like this guy could understand him. 

 

“What you talking about, Dean doesn’t care that you’re deaf! He’s the last person to be prejudiced towards a disability, especially someone who’s deaf!” Bobby exclaimed almost laughing at the insinuation.

 

Cas looked over at Dean who had a soft smile on his face as his hands came up to his chest he began to sign.

 

‘My mother and father are both deaf…I can also understand sign language’ Dean finished letting his hands drop to his sides he looked like a hurt man his shoulders slouched and his head dropped to his feet. “Excuse me Bobby I’ll be outside” Dean spoke to Bobby but glared at Castiel as he left the room.

 

Bobby smirked at Cas who had a look of shock and confusion plastering his face.

 

“Nice one Einstein” Bobby began to chuckle as Cas fiddled with his tie nervously straightening it out.

 

“I didn’t realise, I just assumed…” Cas sighed deeply suddenly feeling like a proper tool.

 

“Exactly, you did exactly what you accused Dean of doing” Bobby was laughing but his statement was serious and it cut through Castiel.


	2. Piston

When Dean had entered the room he thought the man in front of him was incredibly handsome, with his dark hair and striking blue eyes. So striking were his eyes that Dean found it difficult to look at him without blushing.

 

“Please could you look at me when you’re speaking to me”, rude is where Dean’s thoughts immediately went. He only asked this guy a question why did he have to be so demanding. It wasn’t until Dean spotted the small object wrapped around the guy’s ear that he regretted his outburst. He was deaf!

 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit” Dean was pacing up and down the corridor rubbing his hand through his hair, he was internally kicking himself, how could he not have realised sooner why did he have to be such a jackass.

 

“That’s a bad word” A small voice came from behind him spinning Dean out of his internal berating.

 

“Huh? Sorry what?” Dean turned around but when he didn’t immediately see someone standing before him he glanced down to the short figure stood beside a vending machine.

 

“My daddy says that’s a bad word” The small child was no older than four at a guess and had striking blue eyes and curly chestnut coloured hair.

 

“Your daddy would be correct….” Dean paused looking around slightly confused as to why this small child was wandering the halls on his own. “Where is your daddy?”

 

“Not here!” Well obviously Dean rolled his eyes but let the kid continue, “He said I have to stay out here and be good for aunty Charlie” The child had a really sweet voice and he nervously rubbed his eye as he babbled to Dean.

 

“Right! And where is your aunty Charlie now?” Dean asked when suddenly fate intervened as a young woman with bright red hair came rushing down the corridor frantically charging towards the boy.

 

“Jack! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Don’t wander off” The woman scooped up the child with ease and let him rest against her hip as she realised they weren’t alone. “Oh, hello, sorry if Jack was pestering you he tends to wander off on his own a lot” She smiled nervously.

 

“You must be aunty Charlie” Dean smirked at the dishevelled look of the woman in front of him.

 

“Yeah, I’m Charlie this here is Jack, and you are?” She asked sceptical of the stranger that had been talking to Jack.

 

“I’m Dean, I’m the new lead engineer on Bobby’s new project” He filled in briefly who he was and why he was there, he got the sense this woman was eyeing him up in an unnerving way and to be honest he would be too if he had just found a small child talking to a strange man.

 

“Oh, you work for Bobby, me too, well actually I’m the assistant to one of his employees but he works for bobby and I work for him so yea…” She stopped short realising she was babbling too. “Sorry, I babble”.

 

“It’s okay I understand, its nice to meet you Charlie, I’ll probably be seeing you about in the coming weeks what with me working alongside your bosses boss” Charlie just stared at him the confusion in her eyes was evident. “Working with Bobby” Dean supplied and her eyes lit up with realisation.

 

“Oh! Right well, I’ll be seeing you around then” She smiled once more looking down at Jack “Right Mr lets get you back to your dad” She shook him higher up onto her hip.

 

“Bye Dean” Jack waved sweetly at Dean as Charlie walked back down the corridor.

 

Dean waved quickly back “See ya kiddo,” he shouted after him.

 

.............................................................................................................................................

Cas sat with his head in his hands he couldn’t believe how stupid he’d been speaking to Dean like that, once he had left the room Cas had sunk into a chair and that’s where he had stayed.

 

“You should apologise to him” Bobby spoke softly he sat in the chair across from him at the table, tapping Cas lightly on the arm before he spoke to get his attention.

 

‘I know I feel like such an idiot’ Cas signed over at Bobby, he could speak but over the last year or so it was getting apparent that his speech wasn’t as good as it used to be so he would sign whenever he could.

 

‘I know kid, but Dean wont hold it against you he isn’t like that’ Bobby signed back.

 

‘How am I supposed to work with him now?’ Cas sighed hanging his head in his hands again.

 

‘You say you’re sorry and you get on and build the best goddamn classic car this company has ever built’ Bobby smirked as he let his hands settle by his side.

 

‘You still want me to do this?’ Cas perked up a bit at this.

 

‘Of course I do, this if your opportunity to prove to me you can manage this on your own’ Bobby had a grin like a mad man trying to reassure Cas.

 

‘And when it’s done?’ Cas asked sceptically.

 

‘When its done, we will discuss making you a partner, okay?’ Bobby placed his hand over Cas’ shoulder.

 

‘You’re the best Bobby’ Cas shook himself off standing up and busying about putting his papers back in his briefcase.

 

‘Go apologise’ Bobby nudged him before leaving him alone to finish tidying up.

 

The door opened and a small whirlwind came charging in past Bobby and slamming into Cas.

 

“Daddy!” Jack squealed clinging onto his dad’s leg.

 

“Jack! Where’s Charlie?” He asked lifting the boy up so he could read his lips.

 

“She’s out there,” He pointed to the door where Charlie was just catching up.

 

“What have I told you about running off” Cas scolded in as soft a tone as he could manage, not being able to hear his tone after all.

 

“Sorry daddy, I met a man!” Jack threw in not giving his apology a second thought.

 

“Excuse me you what?” Cas was stunned and threw Charlie a look to see if he had understood that.

 

‘We bumped into the new guy Bobby’s hired, Dean something’ Charlie filled in signing to Cas.

 

“Oh him” Cas muttered putting Jack down and fiddling with his bag.

 

‘You’ve met him then?’ Charlie signed.

 

‘Yeah made a fool of myself in front of him didn’t I’ Cas began to sign, he didn’t want Jack knowing what he was talking about.

 

Jack was still only a baby in Castiel’s eyes and it wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to teach Jack to sign but he only knew a few words like farm animals and colours but its not like the little boy could construct full conversations just yet. Besides he would have a tantrum every time Cas tried to teach him something new or try and insist they use their hands, the boy just wasn’t interested in learning. Cas didn’t want to push his son either, it wasn’t easy having a deaf parent and being so young still he didn’t fully understand what it meant for Cas to be able to communicate. He hoped when he was older he would maybe understand.

 

‘What happened’ Charlie asked pulling Cas back to the conversation.

 

‘I accused him of being ignorant, turns out the guy can sign and there is me signing to Bobby that I don’t want to work with someone so rude’ Cas finished and ran his free hand through Jack’s curls as the little boy leaned quietly against his leg.

 

‘Damn, not good, he was cute too’ Charlie added and Cas threw her a look.

 

‘Is that honestly where your mind automatically goes, I thought you weren’t into guys anyway?’

 

‘No but I can appreciate a good-looking man when I see one’ she smirked.

 

‘I didn’t notice’

 

‘Liar you totally noticed, how could you not with eyes that green, dude was fit’ Charlie was off on one now.

 

‘Shut up’ Cas gave her a mock death glare making her laugh.

 

“Daddy what are you saying” Jack pulled Castiel’s jacket looking up at his dad with sad eyes.

 

“Nothing baby just grown-ups talking” Cas rubbed his hair once more, he loved his little boys brown curls more than anything.

 

“I don’t like grown ups talks” Jack put on his best pout crossing his little arms.

 

Cas picked him up and kissed his cheek pulling the boy into a tight hug.

 

“Love you little man” Cas spoke into his ear letting Jack settle onto his shoulder.

 

“Love you daddy” Jack whispered but it melted into the space because Cas could neither see his lips nor hear his voice, he just felt his warm breath against his neck.

 


	3. Gear lever

“Lisa, I’m home” Dean closed the door behind him and put his bag on the side in the kitchen. He made his way into the apartment in search of Lisa, his girlfriend of nearly 2 years and more recently roommate. They had moved into Lisa’s apartment together a few weeks before and Dean was still getting used to not being the only one to take care of.

 

“In here!” She shouted through from the back bedroom, Dean made his way down the corridor and stood in the doorway of the spare bedroom.

 

“What you doing?” Dean scanned the room that was covered in sheets and open paint cans.

 

“I’m redecorating” Lisa smiled over at him, paintbrush in her hand.

 

“I can see that…why?” Dean didn’t really care all the much what she did to the place but he would at least have liked a heads up.

 

“Why not, we may need this room at some point in the future and I just figured it wouldn’t hurt to get things ready”. Dean knew exactly what she was referring to and he wasn’t going to have this conversation again.

 

“Lisa, we’ve talked about this” Dean sighed walking further into the room. “We’ve not even been together all that long, we’ve only just moved in together, lets not rush this” He wound his arms around her but she didn’t return the affection. She pulled free from his arms and faced him.

 

“Why not? Come on Dean we love each other why not share that love with a baby?” She gave him her best puppy dog eyes but it wasn’t working.

 

“Because a baby is a big commitment, I’ve only just started this job with Bobby and I don’t even know if he’ll keep me on once the projects complete. Besides babies smell and they cry” Dean was just throwing out stupid excuses now.

 

“You don’t hate kids so don’t even try that, you practically raised your baby brother for crying out loud why don’t you want this?” Lisa was getting fed up now.

 

“Exactly, I raised him because I had to and I missed out on my own life because of it, don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t have traded it in for anything because I love Sammy but you got to understand where I’m coming from here. I want to be me” Dean pleaded, he loved his baby brother and after his parents died in a house fire when Sammy was still young it fell on Dean to look after him. They were taken into care before finally going to live with Bobby when they were teenagers but by then it was too late to have a normal childhood, at least for Dean anyway.

 

“You wont even consider it?” Lisa asked hopefully.

 

“When the time is right, with the right person” Dean raised his eyebrows at her hoping this would be enough for her to drop it for now “then maybe I’ll consider it, but right now lets just be us” Dean managed to keep her in one place this time when he snaked his arms around his middle.

 

“You saved yourself there Winchester” she tapped his nose with the paint brush and smiled but there was a sadness behind her eyes.

 

“Come on I’m starving lets go get some dinner, we’ve not been out in ages” Dean pulled her out the room and towards their own bedroom. Lisa laughed the whole way. At least he had appeased her enough to put the conversation on hold for now but he knew it was something she wasn’t going to let go in a hurry.

 

………………………………………………………………………..

 

Cas opened the fridge the bright light blinding him from the fact that the fridge was mostly empty except for a tub of butter and half a tray of eggs.

 

“Looks like we’ll be going out for dinner tonight” Cas muttered to himself before closing the door. Being a single parent wasn’t easy and he would often struggle to find the time to go shopping between work and spending time with Jack it was a common occurrence to find the fridge empty.

 

“Jack get your shoes on buddy we’re going out” Cas shouted from the kitchen, Jack was currently sitting in the living room watching his favourite show.

 

It took them twenty minutes to leave the house from that point, a personal record for Cas and with only 1 tantrum this must be a good day.

 

……………………………………………………………………….

 

Dean pulled up to the only semi decent restaurant in town and let the engine of his 67 Chevy impala slowly rumble off.

 

As the engine cut off it spluttered a bit as if it were a human after a run trying to catch its breath. Lisa looked over at Dean and scowled at him.

 

“What?” Dean raised his hands in defence of his baby.

 

“You need a new car” She deadpanned before climbing out the car and slamming the door for emphasis.

 

“Whoa careful she’s delicate” Dean’s voice turned to a whisper when he realised she wasn’t listening and had walked inside already.

 

Dean rolled his eyes and begrudgingly got out the car, what he really wanted to do was go home and sleep till Monday morning. He’d had a rubbish day making a fool of himself in front of his new co-worker who also just happened to be one of the most beautiful men Dean had ever seen. Not that he was gay or anything, he could appreciate the male form on occasion. Then he’d driven home to crazy baby brain Lisa planning a nursery without him knowing and then having to carefully defuse that spark of an idea.

 

His growling stomach was enough to pull him back to reality and the smell of grease and sugar was pulling him through the doors of the restaurant. The waitress lead them through the rather busy dining area to a side booth it was closest the kitchen doors so they had that to contend with. Dean didn’t mind particularly he quite liked being close to the kitchen cause in his mind it meant he was closer to the food. Lisa however…

 

“Of all the places they could seat us it had to be right next to the door, they wont be getting a decent tip from me tonight” She scoffed as she picked up the menu and continued to complain, something about the pages being sticky, dean didn’t know or care as he’d stopped listening entirely and his gaze was focused on the striking man that had just walked in.

 

“Cas” Dean called out to him as the waitress lead him past towards the booth two tables down from theirs. Dean didn’t even notice the small human that was currently latched to Castiel’s hand because once again he was drawn in by the mans incredible deep blue eyes.

 

“Dean!” The little familiar voice from earlier reached his ears as Jack spotted him pulling Castiel’s hand to follow him over. Cas hadn’t even noticed until he could feel Jack resisting against his hand.

 

“Jack where are you…oh…Dean…hi” Awkward!

 

Cas didn’t know what to do with himself, last time he spoke to this man or rather signed at this man he had insulted him, called him rude and said he didn’t want to be near him. How wrong he was because nothing could be further from how he was actually feeling being back in his presence.

 

“Hey so this is your daddy, Jack?” Dean smiled down at the little boy who nodded frantically at him.

 

“Yeah this is my daddy…he’s deaf so you have to show him your lips” Jack explained, it was amusing to hear the explanation from a child’s perspective clearly all Jack understood was that you needed to look at him to speak to him.

 

“Yeah your dad told me, believe it or not Jack but my mum and dad were deaf too but I spoke to them with my hands” Dean was trying to explain to a three year old what sign language was, he wanted to actually face palm and how ridiculous he sounded.

 

‘I’m sorry about earlier, I should have realised you were trying to tell me something instead of lashing out’ Dean signed up at Cas, something in his chest tightened at the sentiment.

 

‘Thank you, but really I should be apologising to you, I shouldn’t have said all those horrible things about you and certainly not in sign that was really arrogant of me and I’m sorry’ Cas appreciated the fact they were signing but the strange look the woman sat across from Dean was giving him suddenly made him feel really anxious.

 

Dean noticed the anxious look on Castiel’s face and glanced over at Lisa suddenly remembering she was there. “Sorry, Lisa, um this is Cas, he and I will be working together”

 

‘Cas this is Lisa, my girlfriend’ he signed back to Cas pretending to ignore the sudden change in expression at the news that Lisa and he were dating.

 

“Nice to meet you Lisa, this is my son Jack, say hello Jack” Cas put his hand on Jack’s shoulder.

 

“Hi!” Jack beamed he could be the sweetest kid when he wasn’t having a tantrum.

 

“Alright Jack we better leave Dean and Lisa to their dinner, it was good meeting you Lisa and Dean, I’ll see you at work on Monday?” It was more a statement than a question but Cas wanted nothing more than to get away from the situation.

 

“Hey you don’t have to rush off…” Dean hesitated glancing sideways at Lisa, “Why don’t you join us” Lisa was not happy with that, the raised eyebrow look she gave Dean across the table was enough to tell him that.

 

The kick to the shin was slightly unnecessary.

 

If Cas noticed the exchange he didn’t show it but Dean smiled up at him through gritted teeth, she had to wear the pointed boots today.

 

‘I wouldn’t want to impose’ Cas signed.

 

‘No imposition, I want you to join us’ Dean hesitated slightly thinking about what he was saying, clearly Lisa didn’t want them there but Dean certainly did. Something about Cas gave him a chill down his body and as strange as it sounds he didn’t want that chill to leave him.

 

‘Okay, thank you’ Dean beamed up at the response and immediately made about making room for the new occupants to the table.

 

“They’ll join us” Dean informed Lisa with a hint of mockery to his tone. He slid onto the bench on Lisa’s side of the booth and allowed Cas and his son to occupy the other side. Sitting opposite Cas now and at eye level he got a perfect view of those beautiful eyes that he loved so much.

 

The waitress came over looking slightly annoyed that her customers had wandered off without warning and joined another table but she smiled through gritted teeth and continued.

 

“What can I get you guys?” she simulated a smile at them.

 

“Ugh I’ll have a burger and a beer please, nice and easy, Lisa?” Dean wasn’t the type of boyfriend to order for her.

 

“I’ll have the salad and a cup of tea,” she was a woman of simple pleasures.

 

“Sir what can I get you?.....sir?” The waitress was looking over at Cas whose nose was glued firmly into the menu. Dean leant his arm across the table and tapped his hand startling him back to reality.

 

‘What you having?’ Dean signed, ignoring the shocked expression on the waitresses face. It was a look he had seen many times when he was a kid out with his parents having to explain to strangers why his mum wasn’t speaking and why his dad seemed to be ignoring them. He felt a sudden pang of sympathy for Castiel as their eyes locked for a moment and the realisation that he hadn’t heard the waitress seemed to cross over his features in a brief and despondent moment.

 

‘Burger and water’ he signed back choosing not to acknowledge the woman waiting with a pad and pen but instead letting Dean take the lead for him. Somehow he didn’t feel the usual sadness that would course through him whenever a misunderstanding like this occurred.

 

“Burger and water, what about you Jack” Dean turned to the little boy who had watched the exchange with soft eyes. He didn’t understand why his daddy would suddenly look sad and it happened too often.

 

“Sausage soldiers!” He practically yelped jumping up in his chair. Cas had been looking over at his son at the time and knew exactly what he had said. Dean glanced across a confused smirk pulled at his lips.

 

“Sausage and mash potato, its something we do at home I stick the sausages upright in the mash to make soldiers” Cas explained, the woman looking far less interested than Dean who bowed his head and laughed into his shirt. It was adorable to watch.

 

“Sausage soldiers it is then” Dean handed the waitress the menus and began to laugh a deep and hearty laugh when she walked away with a roll of her eyes. It was at this moment that Cas really hated being deaf.

 

…………………………………………………………………………

 

Their meals came and went and Jack was busy demolishing a bowl of ice cream that Dean had insisted on getting him and Cas had insisted Dean didn’t.

The chatter amongst the table consisted of Dean and Cas communicating through signs until Cas realised how rude it made him seem in front of Lisa who didn’t have a clue what was happening.

 

‘Perhaps for Lisa’s sake we should speak’ Cas had signed.

 

“Crap yeah, sorry Lisa” Dean spoke aloud to Lisa who simply forced a smile in his direction and avoided all eye contact with Cas.

 

She did seem to perk up when Jack began telling her about his favourite TV show, which ultimately gave Dean the perfect excuse to focus his attentions on Cas.

 

“So Cas, you ready to get started on Monday, I for one cant wait to see your design” Dean used his finger to scoop some ice cream from Jack’s bowl and stick it to his nose making the little boy squeal with laughter.

 

“That’s right, you left before you could see my design this morning” Cas suddenly felt a pang of guilt but it was soon softened by the look on his little boys face. How he wished he could hear him laugh.

 

Dean’s hand waving in front of him drew his eyes back to him so he could continue talking. “Don’t feel bad about this morning, Monday morning is a clean slate” Dean let his eyes soften on Cas, which seemed to be enough to settle the guilt that was building up in his chest.

 

“Clean slate it is” Cas ran his hand through Jack’s hair using his other hand to wipe away the ice cream that was still sitting on the end of his nose.

 

 

 

Dean held the door for the little party to exit out into the car park, the sun was just going down and was peeking over the horizon casting an orange glow over their faces.

 

Cas had Jack perched on his shoulder, after a mad twenty minutes messing about with Dean in the soft play area attached to the restaurant he was officially tuckered out and ready for bed. Half asleep on Cas’ shoulder Dean couldn’t help but smile at the adorable little boy.

 

“Best get him home to bed” Lisa commented smiling warmly at the little boy, she was obviously feeling motherly and after their conversation earlier Dean guessed that hadn’t gone away in the few hours they had been out.

 

“Yeah, he’ll sleep tonight, thank you for that by the way” Cas laughed as he gave a pointed look at Dean.

 

“You’re welcome, alright we best be getting back, this was fun” Dean commented putting an arm around Lisa’s waist leading her off to the car.

 

“Dean!” Cas spoke after them pulling Dean to a stop.

 

‘Yeah?’ Dean signed knowing he was too far away now for Cas to read his lips.

 

“Clean slate Monday” Cas replied his hands occupied by keeping Jack perched on his shoulder.

 

‘Clean slate, good night’ Dean winked then hesitated with his hands for a moment thinking about saying something else but with Lisa right beside him he didn’t dare risk anything else, even if she didn’t know how to sign.

 

Once they were safely in the car Dean glanced across at Lisa his hand pausing over the keys.

 

“What do you want to say?” Dean sighed knowing that look on her face.

 

“Nothing” She deadpanned.

 

“Clearly its something, what is wrong?” Dean pushed the point he could tell she was bothered.

 

“You had to sign the whole night? I didn’t even know you could sign!” She snapped.

 

“He’s deaf, yeah he can read lips but come on its rude to just assume he can read lips all night, it gets tiring for him” Dean explained feeling a pit in his stomach.

 

“How do you know what makes him tired, how do you know he doesn’t prefer reading lips, at least with that the rest of the room can keep up with the conversation. I felt really excluded in there tonight, Dean!” Lisa was in on of those moods and she wasn’t going to let this go in a hurry.

 

“It used to tire mom out, she always preferred signing over lips, I mean for her it also helped cause dad couldn’t read lips but still she would get tired of reading lips and having to concentrate. Cas moves his hands when he speaks I picked that up quite quickly tonight you can tell he wants to sign” Dean was going to defend him it meant more than just a fight with Lisa about being rude he felt like it was a personal attack.

 

“See there’s another thing, you never mention your parents, of course you said they were deaf but you never tell me anything about them I didn’t even realise you could sign! You were, what, eight, when they died?” Lisa pointed out.

 

“Nine actually, and I learnt to sign from an early age its not something you easily forget” Dean’s eyes shadowed as he spoke, it was a tough childhood especially after his parents died but he kept learning sign language even after they passed away because a part of him knew he would need it one day and it also brought a slight comfort to him.

 

“I’m sorry Dean I didn’t mean to bring up your parents, I just felt excluded tonight that’s all, besides he’s your work friend not mine” Lisa added her tone softened at the look on Deans face and it was enough to bring the argument to a swift close.

 

“You’re right I’m sorry, I just hope you understand why I had to do it” Dean muttered, his statement seemed to cut Lisa off from saying anything else. She was feeling hurt, yes, but a part of her felt guilty now for being annoyed.


	4. Adaptor

As baby rumbled down the street the address Bobby had sent him to came into view, a large neon sign stood next to the main gate flashing ‘Singers auto’ underneath read ‘salvage yard’, Dean smirked at the sight feeling a warmth hit him at the familiar sight of the first place he ever worked. He pulled up to the gate and jumped out to open them, as he pulled into the salvage yard he could see the extent of the yard the amount of scrap cars and vintage classics that sat under green covers near the main garage. His eyes darted back and forth across the yard see the potential in every car he passed. Baby quietened down as he pulled the key free and jumped out the car the metallic slam of the door drew the attention of the man stood over by the padlocked side door.

 

The man spun around and broke into a huge grin at the sight of Dean walking towards him.

 

“Sammy! what are you doing here?” Dean grabbed the taller man pulling him into a tight embrace his eyes crinkling as he couldn’t help but grin.

 

“Came to congratulate you didn’t I” The man, Sammy, muffled into Dean’s shoulder.

 

Dean reluctantly pulled away from his little brother and took in the sight of him. It had been a few months since he had last seen his brother seeing as he had been away at college for the better part of a year.

 

“How long you back for?” Dean asked pulling the keys to the padlocked door out of his jacket pocket.

 

“Just a few days, I actually have some news, I’m visiting my fiancés family this week” Sam paused and waited for Dean’s reaction.

 

“Wait! What!” Dean spun around dropping the padlock.

 

“Yep, remember Jess you met her first time you came to visit me at college, well I asked her to marry me” Sam blushed hard he was clearly in love and who was Dean to stomp on his parade.

 

“Sammy! I cant believe it, congratulations little brother” Dean pulled him into a softer hug, for someone that wasn’t about chick flick moments he was being overly loving today.

 

“Thanks Dean, you should come for dinner with us whilst we’re in town I would love for you two to get to know each other properly” Sam looked like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

 

“Of course, I’m just really happy for you” Dean felt the tears sting his eyes so he distracted himself by finally letting them into the building. It was hard seeing his brother going off and living his own life, he had practically raised him and it was hard to see him all grown up and able to take care of himself. Dean was always going to be proud of how well his brother came out after everything they went through as kids.

 

“So you working with uncle Bobby now! Has he given you a clip around the year yet for back chatting?” Sam chuckled at the glare he received from his brother.

 

“No, I’m too old for back chatting” He back chatted.

 

“Clearly” Sam sniggered, “So how’s things with Lisa?” Dean froze at the question, things with Lisa were rocky at best especially with the recent baby conversations and he obvious dislike for his new job.

 

“Things are fine” he lied through gritted teeth and it wasn’t fooling Sam.

 

“That good huh?” Sam sat down on the worn sofa that took up the majority of the small office space whilst Dean got about turning all the lights on.

 

“It’s not bad, its just…complicated” Dean lifted the leaver to the electrical mains and the whole building burst into life the buzz of the old lights and the hum of the generator drowned out the awkwardness he was suddenly feeling.

 

“Which is your go to answer for when things are going to crap and you don’t want to talk about it” Sam muttered from the sofa, Dean threw an old rag at Sam and it flapped in his face. “Hey! I just know you too well Dean, this is how it starts you get with a great girl and its all great for a while until she starts talking marriage and kids and you come up with every excuse not to” Sam didn’t want to sound confrontational but it was the only way Dean was going to take it and he knew his brother too well.

 

“That’s not the case this time, yes I’ll admit I’ve been…cautious of commitment up until now but honestly Sam she’s rushing everything and she’s constantly pissed off at me about something” Dean waved his arms around getting more agitated, “I took her out for dinner the other night and all she did was complain the whole ride home, ‘we were too close to the door’ or ‘why didn’t I pay attention to her the whole night’ oh and the icing on the cake, ‘why was I talking in ASL the whole night’, cant exactly help it the guys deaf!” Dean went way off on a tangent.

 

“Wait whose deaf?” Sam interrupted not wanting to but in when his brother was on a roll.

 

“Oh…” Dean froze realising what he’d let slip. “Cas, he’s the guy I’m working on this project with, he’s the one that’s come up with the designs for the chasse” Dean mumbled and his cheeks went red at the mention of Cas.

 

“Cas, huh, and I’m guessing he was with you at dinner and you were talking to him all night?” Sam had a slight look of confusion on his face but he was slowly piecing it together.

  
“Well he turned up with his kid, Jack, and I felt bad for the way things started between us so I invited him to join us” Dean had calmed down a bit, enough to lean against the counter where Bobby had once set up a small kitchen in the office.

 

“He’s got a kid” It was more of a statement on Sam’s part than a question and Dean gave him a quizzical look.

 

“Yeah, Jack he’s three, cute kid actually” Dean smiled fondly and tipped his gaze to his feet crossing his arms over his chest to protect himself from the thoughts he could see forming being Sam’s eyes.

 

“He’s married then?”

 

“Sam! Where are you going with this?” Dean knew where he was going with this.

 

“I’m just asking! So he’s single then?” There was a mischievous look on Sam’s face that Dean didn’t like.

 

“He’s single as far as I’m aware but that doesn’t mean anything dudes got a kid that must mean there’s a mother somewhere…why am I even justifying this to you!” Dean stopped himself suddenly realising he was falling into his brothers trap. “I’m not discussing this with you again, I’m not gay!” Dean ended it there and busied himself washing some old mugs in the sink so he could make himself some much-needed coffee.

 

“Yeah that’s what you said about Timmy Grayson in the 5th grade and then Jason in sophomore year, look Dean I don’t care what you are just as long as you’re happy and clearly you aren’t happy with Lisa” Sam stood up from the sofa when he saw Dean darting for the door.

 

“Me and Lisa may be having problems but that doesn’t mean I like this guy! I work with him that’s all” Dean didn’t mean to snap but it seemed to stop Sam in his tracks.

 

“Okay I understand but Dean if you aren’t happy with your life as it is please do something about it and soon” Sam had so much sympathy for his brother and it showed on every inch of his face.

 

“I’ll text you later arrange a time to come meet that gorgeous fiancé of yours, you might even have some competition” Dean winked at his brother trying to break the tension, he would never leave any argument with Sam feeling hurt he refused.

 

“You’ll have to fight me first, bitch” Sam added at the end with a smirk

 

“Jerk”

 

The pair both scoffed at how ridiculous they both sounded but they didn’t care.

 

“All right, I’ll talk to you later Dean” Sam patted his brothers shoulder as Dean held the door open for him.

 

“Sammy, I’d tell you if I weren’t happy cant have you worrying about me” Dean had a smile on his face but his tone told Sam he was serious.

 

Sam nodded in understanding before climbing into his car and giving Dean a final wave disappeared through the gate.


	5. Ignition

It was not long after that Dean heard a car pull up outside followed by footsteps on the hard gravel and finally the door to the garage open. He left the office where he had been cleaning some old tools that had seen better days and wandered into the main assembly area to find Cas.

 

‘Morning’ Dean signed when Cas looked his way obviously startled by the sudden movement.

 

‘Good morning Dean’ Cas signed back a smiled forming on his lips.

 

‘You ready to get to work?’

 

‘Ready and eager’ Cas held up the satchel bag that was hanging loosely by his side and indicated it to Dean.

 

‘Are those the designs?’ Dean showed as much excitement on his face as he could cause he had been dying to see the designs ever since Bobby had told him about them.

 

Cas nodded sliding the bag over his shoulder and handing it over to Dean crossing the short distance to enter his personal space.

 

Dean hurried back into the office clearing the desk to make space for the amount of papers that came out the bag. One by one he went through the designs taking in every inch of the vehicle they were going to build together. The idea sent a warm wave through his chest.

 

‘These are stunning Cas’ Dean signed turning back to face him holding up a page that had a hand drawn image of the complete car. It was a classical inspired chasse similar in shape to the Impala with the curved roof sloping down to the trunk, the front of the car however had the grill of a classic ford mustang and the rounded edges similar to that of the Porsche 911 with a metallic clover green finish to the entire thing.

 

“You like it?” Cas asked, this time speaking the words rather than signing because Dean was too engulfed in the designs to notice.

 

“I love it Cas this is like the dream car” Dean turned to face his colleague a big grin broke out on his face at the blush forming on Castiel’s cheeks.

 

“What do we do first?” Cas asked pointing at the tools on the desk.

 

“The boys in the factory are going to put the chasse together for the prototype but Bobby wanted us to put the engine together” Dean spoke slowly so Cas could keep up with his lips.

 

“Why us?”

 

“Because he wants us to be as cost effective as possible with this one and that means he’s given us complete access to the yard and we can use whatever we want to make this thing run like a dream” Dean picked up a wrench and used it to point out the window behind him at all the scrap cars piled high in the yard.

 

Cas nodded pulling his designs back into the bag, “What would you like me to do?”

 

“I have a list of all the parts we need to make the engine, I was thinking we just take a couple of complete engines and pick and chose the parts we need”

 

“Sounds like a plan” Cas spoke, the grin on Dean’s face didn’t escape his notice as he gave him an odd look. “What did I say?” Cas had the same smile on his face but his eyebrows pulled in confusion.

 

“You said…sounds like a plan” Dean couldn’t help but laugh at the irony.

 

“Oh…” Cas paused and for a moment Dean thought he had really offended the man but his nerves settled once cas began to laugh. “Come on funny man lets get to work” Cas slapped him playfully with his bag before dumping it on the side and leading the way out into the yard.

 

Castiel’s eyes widened at the sight of all the cars some piled high crushed beyond recognision and the rest scattered or covered up to protect them from the elements. It wasn’t like he hadn’t noticed the scrap when he arrived but looking out across the yard now he could see the vast extent of what they had to work with, for cas whose job it was to design and build new cars this was like a playground for him.

 

‘You okay?’ Dean asked grabbing his arm.

 

‘This is going to be fun’ Cas laughed and bolted off into the yard skipping over discarded pieces of metal that were once functioning parts of an engine as he raced off leaving Dean bewildered and left behind.

 

“Cas! Wait up!” Dean shook his head and slammed his hand over his face when he realised what he’d done, running off after the overgrown man child, realising he would have to catch up to get him to stop.


	6. Oil

Dean was busy unhooking an exhaust pipe when he heard something come whizzing past the car he was currently under. Dean glanced out from beneath the car and could see wheels small ones racing back and forth around the yard. He put his tool down on the floor and shuffled out from beneath the car ducking back at the last minute when a golf cart came careering past him nearly taking his head off.

 

“Son of a bitch” Dean cursed, as he double-checked for the thing that tried to kill him before quickly scrambling out before it could come back. Once he was up right and managed to catch his breath the golf cart came racing back again this time the occupant of the vehicle tooted the horn at Dean waving like a loon.

 

“Cas!” He knew he would be able to understand him this time as he was looking straight at the guy as he smugly drove past him. “The mans a lunatic” Dean muttered but the grin on his face was hard to hide.

 

The cart came skidding to a halt next to him and Cas had the worlds biggest smirk on his face like a kid that had just been caught joy riding his dads car.

 

‘Just what do you think you’re doing?’ Dean asked indicating up and down the track that Cas had made for himself.

 

‘Its called fun’ Cas deadpanned with a stone cold look on his face that immediately broke into a smile at Dean’s reaction.

 

‘Right, we are supposed to be working!’ Dean put on his serious face the one he used to use on Sammy when he was misbehaving. ‘You managed to get all the parts on that sheet I gave you?’ Dean added knowing he was going to get nowhere with Cas using his dad face, the guy was a dad himself he knew all the tricks.

 

‘I put them in the garage for you, the golf cart came in real handy when I needed to get the engine from the back of the yard’ Cas sniggered as Dean overly nodded in understanding.

 

‘Oh I see now, come on get down time for some real work’ Dean held out his hand to help Cas climb down, although not a very big cart the warmth of Cas’ hand in his was a feeling he didn’t want to leave.

 

‘Thank you’ Cas reluctantly released the warm grip of Dean’s hand to thank you.

 

……………………………………………………………….

 

They spent the rest of the day in the garage compiling all the parts they had collected and had begun to clean them all, Dean had insisted they all be sparkling to the point he could see his face in each part before he put them all together. Cas had simply smiled and done as he was told getting to work cleaning each piece by hand.

 

They worked in silence because it proved early on that it was difficult for Cas to be working on something and lip-read at the same time and signing was out the question with their hands full. Dean didn’t mind the silence in face it made the day fly by it was comfortable just sitting and working with Cas, every so often he would chance a glimpse over at Cas who had taken up the sofa in the office cleaning his parts. Dean couldn’t help but notice the way he stuck his tongue out whilst he worked or the way he got a hint of annoyance in his eyes whenever his unruly hair fell into his eyes. It was only when his own stomach growled that he noticed it was dark out and they had worked well past 9pm distracted him.

 

“Shit, Cas” Dean flapped a rag in his direction to grab his attention instead of saying anything he just pointed at the clock. Cas’ eyes went wide with panic as he reached for his phone, probably to confirm the horror.

 

Looking down at the screen Cas had 5 missed messages from Chuck asking him where he was.

 

“Whose Chuck” Dean asked peering over his shoulder.

 

‘I have to go’ Cas signed obviously he didn’t catch what Dean had asked and was now far too busy grabbing his things.

 

Dean grabbed his arm pulling the other man to a halt, turning him to face him so he could communicate properly.

 

‘Slow down stop panicking, what’s wrong?’ Dean asked letting Cas take a deep breath and calm himself down.

 

‘Could you call my dad for me, I can’t call…’ Cas pointed at his ear and the look of dejection on his face cut right through Dean.

 

‘Of course, what do you want me to say?’ That must have been who Chuck was Dean thought to himself.

 

‘Tell him I’m sorry it’s so late and that I’m heading over now to pick up Jack’ Cas finished signing and continued to shove his stuff into a bag.

  
Dean nodded and grabbed Cas’ phone from where he had left it on the sofa, unlocking the screen with a single swipe, guy was trusting, Dean went straight to contacts and hit Chuck’s name. The phone rang once, twice and on the third ring a voice picked up.

 

“Hello? Who is this?” The voice was clearly panicked and sounded very similar to Cas if not a bit weathered.

 

“Is this Chuck?” Dean asked hesitantly.

 

“Yeah who is this? Why have you got my sons phone?” Chuck sounded stressed.

 

“My names Dean Winchester I work with Cas..Castiel, he wanted me to ring you because he has his hands full” Dean filled in and this seemed to settle the other man a bit.

 

“Where is he?”

 

“He’s still at the garage but he’s coming now he said he’s sorry he lost track of time”

 

“Thank you, Dean was it? Tell him not to stress, I’ve put Jack to bed now so there’s no rush I know what he’s like” There was a chuckle from the man at the other end of the line and Dean couldn’t help but glance at the clearly fretting man beside him.

 

“Alright I’ll tell him” Dean hung up after a quick goodbye from Chuck and turned to find Cas missing from the garage.

 

The sound of a clunky ignition drew him outside to find Cas with the door to his car open frantically trying to kick-start the engine. He was clearly getting more agitated at each and finally he reached his point slamming his hands into the steering wheel in frustration.

 

“Hey, hey calm down” Dean knew his words were landing on deaf ears but he couldn’t help it.

 

“I just need to get home” Cas muttered the tears welling up now. Dean crouched down beside the open door and put his hand over Cas’ arm using some force he managed to pull his hand away from the ignition.

 

“Cas look at me” Somehow despite not being able to hear him this was enough for Cas to turn to lock his wet blue eyes to Deans earthy green ones. “What’s wrong?” Dean asked simply.

 

“The car won’t start, I’m late to pick up Jack I’ve missed his bed time and I just…” Cas froze the tears threatening to fall now.

 

“Don’t panic, Jack’s fine your dads put him to bed for you so he said there’s no rush getting back, as for the car, the batteries probably dead, looks like you left the radio on so its drained the battery” Dean pointed at the knob on the radio that was clearly set to the on position. “What were you doing with the radio on anyway?” Dean added curiosity getting the better of him.

 

“I like to turn it up loud and feel the vibrations, guess I forgot it was on this morning” Cas laid his head over his crossed arms on the steering wheel and sighed deeply.

 

Dean tapped his arm realising he hadn’t taken his hand away this whole time. “Jump in the impala I’ll drive you to your dads”

 

“What about tomorrow morning? My dad doesn’t have a car,” Cas all but whimpered making his words less intelligible.

  
“I’ll come pick you up before work tomorrow don’t worry about that, now come on get up” Dean pulled his arm as he stood from his crouched position on the floor leading Cas over to the impala.

 

“We’ll need the car seat for Jack” Cas turned pointing back at his car.

 

“On it” Dean smiled reassuring the other man as he jogged back over to the car relieving it of the child’s car seat fitted to the back seat.

 

Dean put the car seat in the back not bothering to strap it down tonight they needed to just get going, he then joined Cas in the front who had already put his seatbelt on and was quickly studying his hands. Dean without thinking wrapped his hand over one of Cas’ hands and squeezed gently before letting go, it was enough to let the other man know he was there and it looked like he needed to reassurance.

 

………………………………………………………………………………….

 

Turns out Castiel’s dad didn’t live too far away from the scrap yard so it didn’t take them long to drive the short distance out of town, Cas pointed up ahead at the long driveway that seemed to lead to nowhere but once Dean drove the short distance down the dirt track he could see a large farm house looming in the distance. There were a few lights on in the house and the front porch had a floodlight that lit up the whole area as it sensed the movement of the car approaching. Soon enough a figure of an older scruffy looking man appeared at the door. Cas waved from the passenger seat up at the man, Dean assumed was Chuck, and the man hesitated slightly before waving back.

 

“Thank you for the ride Dean and for…you know” Cas hesitated his hand hovering over the door handle.

 

“No problem, I’ll come pick you and Jack up in the morning by then I should have figured out that car seat,” Dean laughed pointing to the offending object.

 

“You want to come in for a drink?” Cas asked hopefully.

 

“It’s late I problem shouldn’t, I wouldn’t want to impose…besides Lisa will be wondering where I am” Dean felt a pang of guilt for declining he really wanted to go inside more than anything but the thought of Lisa sat in their apartment by herself brought him back to his reality.

 

“Maybe another time then” Cas smiled climbing out the car giving Dean a wave as he climbed up the steps to the porch greeting the man at the door. Dean slammed his face down on the steering wheel much like Cas had done earlier.

 

“Stupid, stupid, stupid” Dean muttered into the wheel pulling himself together he started up baby and made the short drive back to the main road. The lights of the farm house fading away in his rear view mirror.


	7. Fuel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has flash backs

Chuck heard the rumble of what he thought was Castiel’s car coming down the drive, only to discover a very nice looking Chevy Impala coming down his dirt road. He was relieved when he saw his son sitting in the passenger seat as the car pulled up beneath the flood light a short distance from the house. Chuck took a moment to inspect the man in the drivers seat from what he could make out he was around the same age as his son with brown maybe blonde hair he seemed to be having a conversation with Castiel.

 

The conversation was brief because soon enough his son was jumping out the car and heading up the steps to the porch greeting him with a shy smile. He knew how much he worried about him so was obviously feeling guilty.

 

‘Get inside, its cold out here’ Chuck signed sighing slightly shaking his head at his son, it made him feel like he was a young man again and that Castiel was back in his teenage years coming home late, not that his son was really the type to stay out late.

 

Chuck followed Cas inside and found him glancing out the window watching the black car fade into the darkness he had a distant look in his eyes one that he had never seen on his son before. Not wanting to disturb him he wandered past him into the kitchen and began making some tea.

 

It didn’t take long for Cas to join him in the kitchen dragging himself from the window long enough to acknowledge his father, chuck thought to himself.

 

‘How’s Jack been?’ Cas signed trying everything in his power not to go straight into the fact he was late and his father was upset.

 

‘He’s fine, wanted to know where you were though’ and there’s the guilt trip.

 

‘Dad don’t do this please not tonight, I’m sorry I was late but we lost track of time’ Cas began but his dad put his hand up in front of him to stop him.

 

‘No I’m not angry about you being late, I’m upset for Jack, he misses you, you are all the kid has left’ Chuck reminded him.

 

‘Don’t say things like that, he’s my son I will always be here for him no matter what!’ Cas looked mad, he was a good father or as good as any single father could be when they also worked a full time job.

 

‘I’m your father too, I worry about you just as much, especially since’ Chuck paused mid sign and pointed at his own ears as if to emphasise a point.

 

‘Dad you don’t have to worry about me I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, I cant hear doesn’t mean I cant do anything else’ Cas didn’t appreciate the way his father treated him sometimes, yes he was deaf and couldn’t hear but that didn’t stop him from living his life any other way he could.

 

‘I worry about you’ Chuck paused looking past Cas through the door making him turn to see what was wrong.

 

‘What is it?’ obviously Chuck could hear something Cas couldn’t.

 

‘Jack’s crying’ Chuck gave him a sympathetic glance before moving past him and disappearing up the stairs.

 

………………………………………………………………..

 

 

_“I need you to come see him! He’s your son too” The crying voice on the phone almost broke his heart, she had been a one night stand a drunken mistake but now there was a baby involved and there was no way he was turning his back on him._

_“Please don’t get upset, I’ll come over, but this is the last time okay anything else its for Jack! What happened between us was a one time mistake it never should have happened but I will always be there for my son” Cas made his tone clear he had been over this before with Kelly and enough was enough she needed to know it was never going to happen._

_“Thank you Castiel, I’m sorry you feel that way but I’m not sorry about what happened because I got the most wonderful gift from it” He could tell she meant it the tears seemed to have stopped and Cas decided it was probably safe to go over._

_It was late and Kelly had called for the fifth time that night to say that the gas oven didn’t seem to be working and could he come by and take a look. Cas was always a sucker when it came to Kelly, especially after Jack was born he would do anything for them._

_Cas drove through the dark dimly lit streets until he saw the street sign he was looking for. Turning into the road the street seemed to brighten as he made his way down towards Kelly’s house more so than any other dim street he’d driven down. He pulled his brow in confusion as he continued down the street, it was getting brighter but something about the light seemed off, was it foggy out? He thought. His eyes went wide as Kelly’s house came into view the whole left side of the house was ablaze the flames flicking up towards the roof._

_He slammed on the accelerator pulling the car onto the grass in front of the house jumping out the car he could feel the heat from the flames begin to prickle his skin._

_“Kelly!” there was no one around how could no one have seen this! Cas darted across the grass to the next out over pounding on the door. “Open up! There’s fire!” He screamed through the letter box until the door opened and a woman in her night gown realised what was going on._

_“I’ll call 911” She rushed back into the house, Cas ran back to the front yard assessing the situation. The left side of the house were completely engulfed the fire was spreading fast towards the other side, Jack’s room. He didn’t hesitate any longer his legs were taking him with speed towards the front door. Ignoring the frantic cries from the next-door neighbour he kicked the door down sending a wave of smoke out into the yard. Using his trench coat he tore off a sleeve and tied it around his nose and mouth using the rest to cover his eyes as he submerged himself into the thick smoke._

_Inside he could just about make out the kitchen door with a bright glow coming through the slit at the bottom, he was smart enough to know oxygen fuelled fire, the kitchen was gone which meant whatever was above it was next. Kelly’s room Cas thought, he pushed his way through the smoke. He could feel how thick it was and it was beginning to burn his lungs as he made it to the stairs. He climbed the wooden frame it creaked under his weight but once he was up on the landing the smoke had cleared slightly enough to see clear enough where he was going. Jack’s bedroom door was in sight the gap beneath the door was dark, the fire hadn’t quite reached this far yet maybe there was still a chance he was alive._

_Cas slammed his shoulder into the wood and the door flung open he could hear the cries from the small baby still laid in his crib, it was enough to send a flood of relief through him. He was alive!_

_“Jack!” Cas called out in relief as he reached inside the crib cradling the baby boy close to his chest, with what was left of his coat he held Jack against his shoulder and wrapped the coat tightly around them both. He needed to get back outside and get Jack to safety before he could attempt to rescue Kelly. It was fairly easy to follow his footsteps back down the stairs and out into the fresh night air, the smoke was filling the garden but it was a far cry from the extent of the smoke inside. Cas took his chance taking a deep breath of fresh air. There were a few more people standing outside now and he could hear the sirens in the distance, there wasn’t time to wait he handed Jack to the neighbour he’d seen before and without word ran back inside ignore the screams and cries of the neighbours once again._

_……………………………………………………………………………………………_

The tap on his arm brought him back to the kitchen away from the horrendous memory of that night. Cas turned and saw his dad holding a sleepy Jack to his shoulder. Instinctively he reached for his son holding him as close to him as he could and wrapping both his arms protectively around his tiny frame.

 

‘You alright?’ Chuck asked a look of concern flashed across his rough features.

 

Cas simply nodded if his dad noticed the sting of tears in his eyes he didn’t say anything he simply smiled warmly at his son and grandson and left the two alone.

 

“I will never leave you baby boy, don’t you ever forget that” Cas whispered into Jack’s ear, even if he was asleep on his shoulder he didn’t care he needed him to know that.


	8. Wheels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry its been so long since I updated this! I've been hella busy and just not had the time or the energy but IM BACK NOW! So hope you all enjoy this slightly longer chapter.

Dean found it quite easy to find Chuck’s place again in the daylight he had pretty much etching it into memory but he would never say that out loud for fear he would seem creepy. He turned down the dirt track glancing in the rear view mirror the child’s car seat grabbed his attention. Dean had spent a good hour after getting home trying to work out how to put the seat in much to Lisa’s annoyance.

 

_“Why have you even got a child’s car seat, I thought you didn’t like kids” Lisa’s snide remark made his jaw tense._

_“It’s not mine, it belongs to Cas or rather it belongs to Jack, I’m picking them up in the morning cause Cas’ car broke down last night and he needs to take Jack to nursery” Dean didn’t really want to explain he didn’t feel he needed to justify helping a friend, when had he started calling Cas a friend? He shook away the thought getting back to the task at hand, trying to find out how this strappy thing connected to the other strappy thing. Dean groaned yelping when he caught his finger in the metal clasp. “Whilst I really do appreciate the third degree, could you maybe leave me alone to figure this out” Dean gritted his teeth his jaw so tense it was beginning to hurt his head._

_“Fine, I’ll be in bed, not waiting up for you!” She barked as she turned on her heel and stormed off inside switching off the porch light plunging Dean into darkness out of spite._

_“Great, thanks Lisa, love you too” Dean muttered as he got the torch on his phone out and continued his battle._

Dean smiled at the car seat finding he actually quite liked having the frustrating object it looked good on baby’s back seat. The idea that having a child of his own to sit in the seat sent a warmth through Dean something he had never even thought he wanted until he saw that car seat. The farmhouse came into view and in the daylight it looked a little worse for wear but quaint all the same. It was the kind of home straight out of a bad TV movie where a girl from a small town meets a boy from a small town and fall madly in love. Of course Dean hated those kinds of movies.

 

Dean didn’t bother locking the impala thinking no one would steal it way out here, so he approached the door suddenly feeling something akin to nerves in the pit of his stomach but he couldn’t be nervous, why would he be? He thought as he jumped the three steps up to the front door. On the third knock an unfamiliar man opened the door his eyes looking Dean up and down. He was a rough looking man shorter than Dean by quite a bit with dark curly brown hair that was now more grey than brown and a scruffy beard that the man had obviously let grow out just a few days too long.

 

“Hi, I’m here to pick up Cas and Jack, are they here?” Dean didn’t even stop to think that maybe they weren’t there, they could have got a taxi back to Cas’ place after he’d left or maybe they both did live here with Chuck.

 

“You must be Dean, come on in” The man, Chuck, Dean assumed, opened the door and stepped to one side allowing Dean into the house. It was a classic farmhouse with a kitchen off to the right hand side as you walked through the door with a large log-burning stove and carefully carved cabinets. To the left there was a living room, smaller than the kitchen but big enough to fit a three-seater sofa and an armchair. The fireplace on the far wall hard great oak beams that made up the main structure of the fireplace and dark green tiles at the back that were stained from the smoke.

 

“Castiel is just getting Jack dressed he’ll be down in a minute” Chuck spoke as he wondered past Dean into the kitchen putting the kettle on the stovetop. “Want some coffee?” The man asked barely glancing over his shoulder at him.

 

“Yeah that’ll be great thanks” In his rush to get out the house this morning, nothing to do with wanting to see Cas again not at all, he had forgotten to grab his morning coffee.

 

“So you work with Castiel?” Chuck asked whilst rummaging through cupboards.

 

“Yeah, Bobby’s like family he got me the job, I’m really looking forward to this project” Dean beamed nervously holding back slightly not wanting to seem to over the top with this stranger.

 

“You and Castiel get on then?” Chuck asked turning around this time to stare Dean down. It worked because it made Dean suddenly very uncomfortable.

 

“I would like to think we do, I mean we didn’t get off to the best of starts but that was a misunderstanding, everything’s going great now” Dean informed in hoping it would be enough to get the man to back off slightly.

 

“Misunderstanding? Oh you mean his hearing, or lack thereof” Chuck nodded knowing how often Cas had spoken about various first meetings with people who weren’t aware of his situation.

 

“I mean, I didn’t realise at first I thought he was just being rude but then I noticed the hearing aid and realised” Dean paused thinking about the hearing aid for a moment, his confusion must have shown on his face.

 

“It doesn’t do anything, he just wears it so people know he’s deaf, it helped a bit after the accident, which is why he has it in the first place but he’s completely deaf now” Chuck filled in whilst pouring the hot water into two cups for them.

 

“Oh, I didn’t realise he was in an accident, I mean I assumed he was hearing at some point because his speech is very clear but still” Dean was feeling very uncomfortable he didn’t know if Cas would be very happy about them discussing him so openly like this especially when they hadn’t really known each other all that long.

 

“I thought he would have told you, he got caught in a house fire a few years ago just after Jack was born, burst his ear drums when a gas pipe burst beside him, he went in after Jack and his mother” Dean didn’t really appreciate the offhanded way in which Chuck was telling him, for one he didn’t think it was his place to be telling Dean this.

 

“I’m sorry to hear that” He was sorry but he also felt a little guilty that he knew, granted he hadn’t gone into details but he still felt like that was something Cas should have told him.

 

“Dean!” The screech of three-year-old Jack broke the tension in the room as he came ploughing into the room grabbing Dean round his legs holding on to him.

 

“Hey kiddo you ready to go to nursery?” Dean asked ruffling the boys soft curls. He had a look of Chuck about him now that he’d met the man, mixed in with Cas’ blue eyes and similar facial features.

 

“Yeah! Today I get to be a superhero,” Jack informed him, although granted Dean had no idea what he was referring to but he smiled and nodded with enough enthusiasm that seemed to satisfy Jack.

 

“Hello Dean” Cas’ rough morning voice distracted Dean from the little boy strapped to his legs in a vice grip.

 

“Morning, Cas, you sleep well?” Dean laughed pointed up at his own hair to tell Cas that his own was sticking up in mad directions.

 

Cas glanced up at his hair sighing with a half smile as he tried to flatten down the unruly strands.

 

“I slept fine thanks for asking” Cas gave him a smirk as he went past into the kitchen grabbing himself a mug of coffee.

 

“I’m ready to go when you guys are” Dean smiled at Cas whose bright smile back gave Dean a tingle in his chest that he’d never felt before.

 

“Coffee first” Cas pointed at his mug taking a deliberately long slurp making Dean chuckle.

 

…………………………………………………………………….

 

As the days progressed so did their project and Dean’s growing fascination with Castiel. As they worked Dean found himself stealing glances over at Cas who would be busy looking over his designs then studying the piece of metal in his hand. Sometimes Dean would get caught starting and he would ask him what was wrong so he would have to come up with a quick excuse as to why he was looking his way. It was useful that he needed to look at Cas in order to communicate as this created a good get out clause most of the time.

 

This day was like any other day, they got to the garage and started work on the engine whilst Cas cleaned the remaining pieces he salvaged from the yard and watched while Dean worked. The slight rise in Dean’s shirt would often distract Cas whenever he bent over the engine to get a better view of his work. The muck and sweat on Dean’s shirt didn’t help the manly aesthetic that was so distracting to Cas.

 

A loud knock on the garage door startled Dean enough he banged his head on the mental frame they had constructed as a fake car whilst they built the engine. “Son of a…who the hell is that!” Dean roared turning to face the door with an indignant look on his face. All of this however was lost on Castiel who wasn’t aware of the visitor.

 

Dean marched over to the door swinging it wide letting the metal slam against the wall, the door moved back to reveal a very smartly dressed Sam Winchester with a big grin on his face. “You’re looking pleased with yourself,” Dean grumbled turning back to the car now he knew it was just Sam.

 

“Any chance I can mess with my big brothers day is something to smile about” Sam grinned even wider at the dirty look Dean glanced back at him as he followed him back into the garage. Sam looked around the room and was started by the unfamiliar person sitting in the office completely unaware of his presence.

 

“Oh, I didn’t realise you weren’t alone” Sam commented causing Dean to glance over at Cas sitting in the office, not the first time he’d done that today.

 

“Yeah that’s Cas, he wont know you’re here yet, hold on” Dean mumbled grabbing a piece of string off the floor and pulling it a couple of times gently. At the other end of the string Cas’ wrist was yanked away from his work as he shot his gaze over at Dean then over to Sam with slight confusion.

 

‘This is my brother Sam’ Dean signed across the room, an understanding nod from came from Cas before he got up and made his way over to Sam sticking his hand out in greeting.

 

“Nice to meet you Sam, my names Castiel” He smiled warmly at the bemused look on Sam’s face by the whole interaction.

 

“Castiel! It’s a real pleasure to meet you Dean’s told me all about you” Sam shook his hand with enthusiasm while Cas glanced a look at Dean, whose cheeks were blushed red.

 

“You too Sam, although I’ve not had the same pleasure of hearing all about you” Cas chuckled slightly looking over at Dean who shrugged in response.

 

“Well, I just stopped by to ask if Dean wanted to grab some dinner with Jess and me, maybe you could join us” Sam offered chancing a look over at his brother’s reaction. Wide eyed like a dear caught in the headlights was enough to tell Sam it was an excellent idea.

 

“You sure I wont be an imposition?” Cas knew it was difficult for some people to get used to communicating with him and he didn’t want to impose on the brother’s family get together.

 

“Of course you wont! It’ll be nice to see who my brother’s been spending all his time with lately! Been trying to arrange an evening for dinner for over a week now, we extended our stay cause you guys were working so much” Sam laughed but Dean could hear the irritation.

 

“Well in that case thank you for the invitation I’d be more than happy to join you” Cas smiled warm and bright at Sam who looked like the cat that got the cream, he’d managed to convince not only his brother, but also his brother’s secret crush to dinner.

 

Dean slammed his hand into his face groaning into his palm, it was times like this he was thankful Cas was deaf and not looking his way. He shook his head at his brother and mouthed ‘Bitch’ at him.

 

…………………………………………..

 

Dean had met Jess before, first time he visited Sam at College, so he didn’t waste any time wrapping her up in a tight hug lifting her off the ground as she laughed at his enthusiasm.

 

“Dean put me down” She used her free hand that wasn’t pinned to her side under Dean’s strong arm to gently smack his shoulder. She was still laughing when he eventually put her back safely on the solid ground.

 

“Its so good to see you! Honestly don’t know what you see in my dorky brother you’re way out of his league” Dean complimented her causing the young women to blush furiously.

 

“It’s good to see you too Dean” She simply replied avoiding the compliment entirely. Her gaze landed on Castiel who was hovering awkwardly behind Dean next to the impala. “You must be Castiel, Sam told me you were coming its so nice to meet you” She made her way over to Cas keeping her voice level and her words rounded so that Cas could understand her. Sam had mentioned to her ahead of time that Cas was deaf and although she knew a little sign language she didn’t know enough to hold a conversation.

 

“Pleased to meet you, Jess, Sam’s a lucky man” He smiled warmly at her taking her hand in his in a formal greeting.

 

“Thank you” She beamed, her cheeks flushing again, clearly she wasn’t used to such compliments from anyone other than Sam.

 

“Right now we have introductions out the way shall we go inside, I’m starving” Sam but in taking his fiancé round the waist guiding her towards the door. Dean and Cas fell into step side by side as they followed on.

 

The restaurant they ended up at was far fancier than the one Dean had met Cas in that first day they met and he suddenly felt vastly under dressed for such a venue. He was fussing with his shirt trying to straighten out the creases from the day, licking his thumb he frantically tried to wipe away a spot of oil on the hem on his white t-shirt. Cas spotted the movement from the corner of his eye and settled his hand atop of Dean’s to still him.

 

“You look fine” Cas smiled looking him dead in the eye as he spoke. Dean felt a shock run through him like a jolt of electricity starting from the skin on his hand leading all the way into his chest, were Cas’ eyes always that blue? He thought struggling to pull away.

 

“Are you two coming in or what?” Sam shouted, more to get Dean’s attention than Cas.

 

Once they were all seated, Sam next to Cas and Dean next to Jess, Dean opposite Cas so that he could interpret for him. They ordered quickly, Dean being a man of simple taste and Jess and Sam eating ‘rabbit food’ as Dean called it. They soon settled into comfortable conversation, they discussed college and how it was going for them both. It soon wandered into how they met and Jess quickly took her opportunity to dig a little deeper into Cas’ situation.

 

“So Castiel, tell me about yourself, what’s your story?” Dean’s eyes shot up at the question, yes they’d talked but there were still things Dean was curious about and he was curious now as to whether Cas would let anything new slip.

 

“Nothing much to tell really, I design cars for a living, secretly I’ve always wanted to be an architect but I’m happy where I am” Cas caught Dean’s eye for a split second, a blink and you miss it moment that sent the same chill through Dean as before. “I’m also a single parent with a little boy so that takes up a lot of my time” Cas finished popping another chip in his mouth.

 

“That’s wonderful how olds your son?”

 

“He’ll be 4 next month” Something in Cas’ eyes turned dark like a shadow of a memory for a moment he seemed sad.

 

“I hope you don’t mind me asking…what happened to his mother?” Jess paused not seeing the sadness in his eyes whilst she was asking.

 

“I don’t mind talking about it, me and Jack’s mother were never together, she was a one night stand, but we stayed friends when she found out she was pregnant.” Cas paused, Dean could sense that he wanted to say more but the sadness crept back onto his rough features almost creating a barrier for him to continue. “She passed away shortly before Jack’s first birthday, house fire” Cas simply said it was quite clear now that he couldn’t bring himself to say more.

 

“Oh gosh Cas I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have asked, forgive me,” Jess added quickly suddenly feeling guilty for bringing up what was clearly a painful subject.

 

“No, no its fine honestly it’s probably good for me to talk about it, it has been nearly 3 years after all cant keep pretending it never happened” He smiled warmly but it felt strained.

 

“Well don’t feel like you have to discuss it with nosey parker” Sam butted in trying to slice through the awkward cloud that had descended on the table.

 

Cas laughed along with Sam and they all soon moved onto something else. Dean couldn’t help but watch Cas after that he could tell the other man was hurting but plastering on a good face for his brother and his fiancé, it physically pained Dean to see him like that.

 

………………………………………………………………

 

At the end of the night they bid their goodbyes, Dean giving Sam an extra long hug for good measure as he wasn’t sure when he would next get the chance to see his baby brother. It was always hard to see him go, but he was a grown man now and he didn’t need Dean taking care of him anymore. Sometimes Dean did kind of wish he had a child just because he missed having someone to take care of. He was never any good at taking care of himself but other people he could deal with.

 

Dean and Cas waved from the curb as the happy couple drove off into the sunset it took a moment or two of silence before Cas grabbed Dean’s arm to gain his attention, he had resorted back to signing after lip reading with Jess and Sam all night tired him out.

 

‘Please could you give me a ride home, it’s nearly Jack’s bedtime and I don’t want to miss saying goodnight’ there was that look again, for the briefest of moments the flash in his eyes, it was as if his deep blue eyes changed to grey whenever the feeling passed over him.

 

‘Of course’ Dean signed back grabbing his keys and leading the way to the impala.

 

They sat in silence in the car Dean driving looking out onto the horizon never looking over at Cas, but feeling the watchful gaze of his friend and colleague every so often on the side of his face.

 

It wasn’t until he pulled down the dirt road to Chuck’s farmhouse that Dean broke the silence turning to Cas as he parked up the car and switched off the engine.

 

‘What happened? To Jack’s mother’ He signed his face set in its features not to seem angry but so that Cas knew he was being serious.

 

‘She died’

 

‘Chuck said you tried to save her, is that true?’ Dean’s throat went tight as he waited for the response.

 

‘I do not want to talk about it, if you don’t mind I’ll be going in now’ Cas got out the car without waiting for Dean to protest. By the time Dean jumped out the car after him knowing he’d upset the man wanting to put it right, Cas was already up the steps onto the porch his hand hovering over the door handle. He could feel Dean’s presence behind him.

 

“Goodnight Dean” Was the last words he spoke before leaving Dean stood on the bottom step of the porch at a loss for words.


	9. Car Jack

Dean hadn’t slept very well. The way he had left things with Cas had been playing on his mind. The beeping of the alarm was the only sound he heard in the early morning silence, he lay wide awake listening to the ringing in his ears until a kick to the shin from Lisa made him get up the energy to turn over and switch it off.

 

Reaching for his phone that was on charge next to the bed he noticed a number of messages and a missed call. His heart skipped a bit at the thought that there might be a message from Cas in there somewhere. Unfortunately though, it was just Sam telling him they had made it back to Stanford. Dean huffed out a breath as he shot off a reply to Sam and scrolled through the notifications, one from Lisa clearly from the night before that he’d ignored asking where he was. The missed call it turns out was from Bobby, not uncommon for the guy, he didn’t like using text messages he didn’t fully understand it.

 

Dean carefully pealed back the duvet and crept across the wooden floor to the bathroom trying his best not to wake up Lisa.

 

He quickly showered and dressed, grabbing a plain bagel from the cupboard before climbing behind the wheel of his impala setting off for Chuck’s house. It had become almost second nature to him by this point, he would get up early and drive out to Chucks farm house pick up Cas and Jack and drive to Jack’s nursery before heading to the scrap yard for the day.

 

By the time he pulled onto the dirt track up to the house the sun had just about reached the horizon casting an orange glow over the land. Looking up at the house he could see the kitchen light on and caught a glimpse of what must have been Chuck moving past the window.

 

The air was brisk at this time in the morning so when Dean climbed out the car it bit at his face and his body chilled from the slight breeze. Pulling his jacket tighter around his middle he climbed the steps and knocked on the door.

 

“Its Dean!” A smirk pulled on his lips as he heard the muffled shouts of Jack through the doors followed shortly by Chuck appearing in the doorway sporting a confused look.

 

“Dean, What are you doing here?” Chuck asked clearly Dean was missing something here.

 

“I’m here to pick up Cas, why what’s going on?” Dean asked suddenly feeling a pit of dread in his stomach.

 

“Nothing wrong, didn’t he get a hold of you? Cas got a call late last night from Bobby, he has taken my truck up to the factory to see the car” Chuck explained with the same confusion on his voice as was on his face.

 

“Oh…he didn’t tell me that” Dean looked like beaten down and it obviously showed on his face as Chuck took pity on him and invited him in for coffee.

 

Dean didn’t even realise he’d gone inside until he was sat on the sofa in Chuck’s front room and had a coffee mug pushed into his hands.

 

“Everything okay with you two?” Chuck asked casually sitting down beside Dean on the sofa keeping a comfortable distance between them.

 

“Who, Cas and me? Yeah everything fine” Chuck knew he was lying and Dean knew he wasn’t falling for it.

 

“Bullshit” Chuck muttered laughing slightly at Dean’s pathetic attempt.

 

“Alright its not great, I may have asked him about his accident last night and he didn’t take to kindly to it” Dean let it go it was all the anxiety he’d felt throughout the night melting away.

 

“Oh, I see, well Castiel has never been one to unload his issues he tends to keep them close. I’ve always thought it was from fear of getting hurt again” Chuck added.

 

“I shouldn’t have asked him, I overstepped, after all we just work together not like we’re friends” Dean sounded almost bitter like he was trying to convince himself it was just a work thing and nothing more.

 

“Bullshit” Chuck said again this time Dean laughed too “I’ve not seen him this happy in a long time, these past few weeks working with you he’s been…different” Chuck turned to look at Dean to emphasise his point.

 

“I’ve enjoyed working with him too!” Dean let out, his voice cracking slightly.

 

“Then sort it out, he’s kept what happened to him so close he’s never let anyone get this close before, he needs to let it go its been four years and I think you are the perfect person to help him get past it” Chuck placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder, it was a very fatherly action one Dean wasn’t used to but it felt nice to know he wasn’t the only one who was looking out for Cas.

 

Chuck decided it was best to break the moment, he got up taking Dean’s now empty mug and returning to the kitchen. Dean leant back on the sofa letting his lack of sleep take over as he rested his eyes slightly, it didn’t take long before he felt eyes on him. Peaking through one eye he spotted Jack’s little face peaking around the corner of the door starring at him with expectant eyes.

 

“Hey Jack” Dean pealed both his eyes open and looked straight at the little boy who bore a striking resemblance to Cas.

 

“Dean can I ask you a question?” Jack asked moving closer to the sofa but not getting close to Dean as he moved to the far end away from him.

 

“You just did” Dean laughed softly.

 

“Can I ask you another one?” Jack asked quietly sounding almost upset as he fiddled with his shirt.

 

“Sure kid, what’s up?” Dean patted the seat next to him and this seemed to be the invitation Jack was looking for as he climbed up beside him nestling in close.

 

“Do you know how to talk to daddy?” the little boy muttered it was so quiet Dean almost didn’t catch it.

 

“How do you mean Jack?”

 

“With your hands” Jack lifted his tiny hands up in front of him and mimed what a three year old saw as sign language.

 

“Oh you mean signing” Dean chuckled at the boys attempt at signing. “Sure I know how to do that, why do you ask?” Dean tilted his head so he could see the boys features, he could tell he was nervous about the topic and his typically shy nature was coming through now.

 

“I want to know how to do it” Jack shed a tear as he looked up at Dean, his heart broke for the little boy wrapping his arm around him pulling him up onto his lap.

 

“Hey, no tears” Dean calmly spoke wiping away the stray tear that had fallen and grabbing a tissue from his pocket to prevent anymore. “Why are you sad Jack?”

 

“Cause daddy cant hear my voice but he can hear hands and I want him to hear me always” it was such a sweet innocence, of course it was difficult for Jack to understand why his daddy couldn’t hear him and to throw sign language into the mix it just gets too confusing for a child, Dean knows from experience.

 

“I know what its like you know, my mom and dad were deaf too, I had to learn how to talk with my hands when I was your age” Dean placed his hand over Jack’s small chest holding the boy steady.

 

“Who taught you?” Jack asked sniffling slightly.

 

“My uncle Bobby taught me, he was great at learning different ways of speaking to people” Bobby had an interest in languages and when Mary went deaf he made a point of teach Dean and Sam how to sign.

 

“Will you teach me?” Jack asked hopefully.

 

“Of course I will” Dean laughed as the little boy threw his arms around his neck giving him a big hug.

 

“Can we learn some now?” Jack asked letting go of Dean.

 

“Sure thing” Jack jumped down from Dean’s knee and went to grab some things he thinks he’ll need leaving Dean a little dumbstruck by what had just occurred, was he really teaching Cas’ son how to sign?

…………………………………………………………………

 

Chuck had discovered the pair at the dining room table going over some of the basic signs and it warmed his heart to see his grandson taking an interest in something he never wanted to learn before Dean turned up.

 

Chuck took his opportunity whilst Jack was distracted and was being entertained by Dean to slip out and get some jobs done he was only gone a few hours and by the time he got back Jack had fallen asleep on the sofa next to Dean who had the TV on low and had wrapped a blanket over the young boy.

 

“Hey sorry I was so late” Chuck whispered so as not to wake Jack up. His voice startled Dean who tried his best not to jolt too much as he turned to face the man.

 

“Don’t worry about it, kids a joy to look after” Dean smiled fondly at Jack who was so deep in sleep his eyes flickered.

 

“Castiel should be home soon anyway” Chuck commented and something flashed across Dean’s features at the mention of Cas. “You should stay for dinner, give you guys a chance to talk it out” Chuck nudged him gently hinting heavily.

 

“Oh no I don’t want to intrude anymore than I already have, besides I should be getting back, Lisa mentioned something about going out for dinner tonight anyway” Dean stood up moving away from the living room so they could speak a little louder and not disrupt Jack.

 

“Is Lisa your girlfriend?” Chuck asked pretending he wasn’t as interested as he clearly was.

 

“Yeah, she is” Dean was sceptical of Chuck’s casual interest but let it slide deciding that now was the best point in the lull in conversation to get out before Cas got home. “Right, well, I best be going, tell Jack I said bye and I’ll see him soon” Dean pointed behind him to where Jack was still sound asleep where he left him.

 

“What should I tell Castiel?” Chuck raised his eyebrows at him taking a sip of his drink he’d just poured himself.

 

“Tell him…I’ll see him at the yard tomorrow morning, I’ll leave the car seat here” Dean muttered not waiting for Chuck to respond as he made his way outside to get the car seat out the back of the impala. The sun was beginning to set and it made Dean painfully aware of just how long he’d been sat around Chuck’s house today, silently waiting for Cas to get home but not being obvious about it.

 

He left the car seat on the porch, the weather would be fine during the night so no rush to get it inside, besides Cas will want to transfer it to the truck when he gets back, better its in a place he can see it. Dean gave Chuck a wave through the window and climbed back down from the porch getting into the car, throwing it into reverse and skidding it around heading back down the dirt track.

 

……………………………………………………………………………………….

 

He pulled into his parking spot in the apartment buildings underground car park switching off the lights he was plunged into a dim light from the car parks grungy badly kept hanging lights. He sighed climbing out the car, now was not the time to be rethinking his decision to move into this building. He made his way to the stair well and climbed up the short flight of stairs to his floor. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going on when he arrived at his front door and found a suitcase and backpack sat beside. Dean sighed rubbing his hand over his face rubbing the scruff of stubble just so he could feel something.

 

He jangled his keys in the lock more so that Lisa would know he was back and to be extra irritating.

 

“Lisa!” Dean shouted through the small apartment making his way down the corridor poking his head hesitantly into each room. “Lisa! You in?” He soon found Lisa sitting in the spare bedroom her phone in her hand clearly scrolling through some page or other.

 

“Your bags are at the door” She muttered not even bothering to look up at him.

 

“Yeah I saw that, do I get an explanation or you just kicking me out?” Dean stayed in the doorway not daring to enter the room.

 

“I went down to the yard today, stupid me thought I would do something nice for my boyfriend and bring him his lunch that he left on the side this morning, only when I arrived it was all locked up” geez she could be irrational at times Dean suddenly realised where this was going. “So my loving boyfriend tells me he’s going to work and he wont be back till late because he’s working really hard on this new exciting project, only you aren’t because if that’s really what you were doing you’d be at the yard where you said you’d be!” She got up from the bed and was shouting at him, this wasn’t going to be fun.

 

“Yeah and that’s where I usually am, just not today!” Dean realised quickly that his heart wasn’t really in this argument and his attempts were pitiful.

 

“So where were you…and so help me Dean Winchester if you say work!” She added quickly clearly she knew Dean well.

 

“I wasn’t at work today, Cas went to the factory so I spent the day at his fathers house, with Jack” It wasn’t exactly a lie but by the look that crossed Lisa’s face it wasn’t the answer she was looking for.

 

“So you spent the entire day that you clearly had off with some guy’s kid, who you’ve hardly known a few weeks!” she was pissed, but not for long as her voice settled and she seemed to calm down but something about Lisa being calm about this worried Dean more than her shouting did.

 

“I knew what I was getting into when I got into this relationship, I’d heard the stories, heck I’ve known you since we were kids so I’ve heard it all Dean. Yet I still decided to give this a shot because I loved you, and you’ve played me for a mug. You never wanted this Dean, at least not with me” She had tears in her eyes as she spoke and it was the most vulnerable he had ever seen the usually strong independent woman. “You never wanted to be here so just go, please,” She pleaded with her eyes as her heart broke and Dean felt nothing but guilt, guilt over leading her on? He wasn’t even sure but, as he walked away picked up his bag and left the place he’d attempted a life in, he felt nothing but relief wash over him.

 

“Now where?” He spoke out loud as he climbed into baby letting what had just happened wash over him.


	10. Brakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was going to go out on Thursday but I've been suffering from a terrible cold this week and actually fell asleep whilst writing this on Thursday XD but I'm feeling better today and didn't want to let down anyone that was enjoying reading this so here are TWO chapters to get your teeth into.

Cas had found the car seat on the porch when he arrived back at his dad’s house It took him by surprise because he wasn’t expecting Dean to even come around after the way he acted. Obviously Dean was more hurt than he realised if he left the car seat behind, clearly he didn’t want to drive him and Jack in the mornings anymore. Cas had to admit he was down heartened at the idea because he had come to enjoy their morning drives. Usually they’d stay silent because it was difficult for Cas to communicate whilst Dean drove but it gave him the perfect opportunity to really take in Dean’s features. His Green eyes sparkled when he got behind the wheel of his impala or whenever he saw a classic looking car. The way his eyes crinkled at the sides when he laughed, the slight twitch to his lip that crept into a smile whenever Jack said something funny from his seat in the back.

 

He picked up the car seat and made his way inside struggling with the weight of the chair and his satchel bag flung over his shoulder. He didn’t even realise he’d slammed it down on the other side of the door until his dad came running in looking confused and slightly pissed that he’d been woken up.

 

“What are you doing? You’ll wake Jack” Cas rolled his eyes more at himself than his dad because he forgot sometimes that loud noises startled people that could hear.

 

“I didn’t realise I’d slammed it” Chuck’s face dropped into a warm sympathy at his comment, Cas hated it! “Dad, we’ve talked about that look” Cas pointed putting his bag on the counter.

 

“Sorry son, I cant help it sometimes, much like you” Chuck pointed out to Cas.

 

“How is Jack? He been good for you today?” Cas asked making his way into the living room keeping his eyes fixed to Chuck so he didn’t miss a word, he lived to hear about his sons day. New achievements, funny stories, if he had any accidents, it was all points in Jack’s life he savoured knowing how lucky he is to have him.

 

“He’s been good today, no tantrums but then I wasn’t with him for half the day” Chuck smirked at the shocked look on Cas’ face as he spoke. “Calm down Cassie, its fine, like I’d leave my grandson all alone! He was with Dean” Cas’ shock softened a bit but was replaced slightly by confusion.

 

“Dean? I mean, I guessed he’d stopped by cause of the car seat but what was he doing here?” Cas asked a little belligerent towards his father.

 

“He came round at the crack of dawn like he usually does, looking for you” Chuck gave him his best dad look of disappointment “You didn’t tell him you were off to the factory did you?” He knew the answer but he wanted to hear what lame excuse his son had.

 

“No, I didn’t think he needed to know” Cas sighed heavily rubbing his face “In all honesty, cause I can see that’s what you’re glaring at me for, I didn’t think he’d be interested I brushed him off so cruelly last night that I didn’t think he’d want to speak to me…I thought I’d ruined it, dad” Cas looked like a lost boy his eyes searching for fatherly advice.

 

Chuck sensing his sons distress took a seat beside him and rubbed his back like he used to do when Cas was a boy after a bad day at school or when he woke from a bad dream. “Cassie, you like this man any fool can see that, you don’t need ears to hear it either” Chuck laughed flicking Cas’ earlobe “the way he talks about you and Jack you can tell he likes you too” His hand settled on his shoulder never leaving his son to remind him he was still there with him.

 

“Its not like that, he’s got a girlfriend” Cas had to keep reminding himself of that little fact.

 

“So did you at one point…how else would you have Jack” Chuck laughed again gaining a small response from his son.

 

“It’s a complicated situation, but the least I can do is apologise for brushing him off, I’ll speak to him in the morning…thank you dad” Cas genuinely meant it, it wasn’t often his dad said the right thing but when it came to matters of the heart he knew his son too well.

 

“Good lad, now go kiss your son goodnight he’s been fighting to stay awake for over an hour now waiting for you” Chuck slapped Cas on the back to signify the conversation was over. Cas got up from the sofa and didn’t waste any time going to Jack’s room.

 

It was one of the spare rooms so the bed was a large double bed fit for two grown adults not a smaller than average three year old, he had been swallowed up by the duvet that Cas struggled to spot him in the dark. As soon as he saw his little eyes flutter open he was perched on the edge of the bed his hand coasting through his soft curls.

 

“Go back to sleep little man, I’ll be here in the morning, just came to say goodnight” Jack was so far past fighting sleep that he barely made a whimper, that Cas couldn’t hear, before closing his eyes again. Cas took his opportunity kissing his son on the forehead stroking his hair one last time before quietly as possibly leaving him for his own bed, it had been a long day.

 

……………………………………………………………….

 

The next morning it wasn’t a surprise to Cas that Dean didn’t turn up to pick up him and Jack. Jack had spent the morning sitting on the porch in his thick winter jacket, the months were dragging on and the weather was changing quickly. Cas wandered into the kitchen and spotted the little boy sat on the top step watching the driveway his coat pulled tight. It broke his heart to see the hope in his son, it was obvious who he was waiting for and he couldn’t bring himself to tell Jack that Dean wouldn’t be coming this morning because he’d messed up.

 

Cas was too busy gazing off down the road that he didn’t notice Jack had clambered back inside and was stood beside him trying to get his attention.

 

“Daddy” Jack pulled Cas’ robe tassel gaining his attention.

 

“Jack! You startled me buddy,” Cas whispered picking up the young boy and holding him on his hip.

 

“Sorry Daddy, can we go to nursery now?” Jack asked his soft features down trodden and speckled from the cold.

 

“Yeah bud, go grab your bag and we’ll be off” Cas kissed the boy on the cheek putting him back down on the floor, Jack stalked off into the corridor head down low.

 

………………………………………………………………………

 

Jack safely dropped off at nursery Cas made his way to the scrap yard, his nerves were getting the better of his as he drew nearer the site. They hadn’t spoken since the other night they hadn’t even exchanged a text and he didn’t know what kind of mood Dean would be in when he arrived.

 

His nerves only increased when he spotted baby outside the building meaning her owner was inside and probably already on with the engine.

 

Pushing open the door to the garage Cas was surprised to find all the lights were out, the only light seemed to be coming from the window on the far side of the room and the flashing light from Dean’s phone that Cas could see sitting on the side in the make shift kitchen. He approached the phone tapping the screen to show a few notifications and some missed calls from Sam.

 

……………………………………………………………………..

 

Dean was spread out on the old sofa covered in a musty blanket he’d found in the office. He could hear his phone buzzing nearby choosing to ignore it much like he had all night, he didn’t want to speak to Sam he didn’t want to speak to anyone. He glanced at his watch using the light seeping in through the window, it was early, it was around this time he would be getting up to go meet Cas but not today. Dean wasn’t even sure if Cas would turn up this morning.

 

He didn’t realise he’d fallen back to sleep until the garage door slamming against the wall woke him with a start, he froze under his blanket from the noise and it wasn’t until he saw Cas wandering into the room not noticing his presence at all as he glanced at his phone.

 

Dean felt around beneath him for the spare pillow he’d found packed into one of his bags and threw it in Cas’ direction. In hind sight probably wasn’t the greatest idea as Cas literally jumped into the air grabbing the closest thing to him, which just so happened to be Dean’s phone and throwing it across the room.

 

“Jesus, Cas! It’s me!” Dean yelled forgetting for a moment that Cas wouldn’t hear him so he got up from the sofa to make his presence known.

 

“Dean? What the hell are you doing scaring me like that” Cas held his hand over his heart trying to settle the pounding.

 

‘It was the only way to get your attention’ Dean resorted to signing, mostly because he was feeling awkward about shouting out when he couldn’t hear him.

 

“What are you doing here?” Cas asked refusing to join him in signing cause he needed that hand over his chest to ground him.

 

Dean didn’t reply he turned his back to Cas flipping the switch by the door on illuminating the once dull room. “Dean” Cas shouted grabbing his attention. Cas took in the dishevelled state Dean was in, his hair was a mess sticking up in all direction, he would never admit out loud how adorable that made him look. It suddenly struck Cas that Dean was wearing his boxers and a t-shirt. Dean looked down at himself as Cas’ eyes hovered across him suddenly feeling very self-conscious.

 

“I’m going to put some pants on” Dean muttered the blush evident on his face as he tried to cover his modesty. Cas pulled his gaze away not realising he’d been staring his heart jumping in his chest so hard he could feel the vibrations in his head.

 

“Have you been here all night?” Cas asked once he found his bearings again.

 

“umm, yeah may have stayed the night” Dean looked embarrassed as he turned to face Cas.

 

“Why?”

 

“Lisa threw me out” Dean said his face was showing little emotion, which struck Cas as odd.

 

“Shit, I’m so sorry Dean, what happened?” Cas moved closer to Dean who suddenly tensed and sat back on the sofa in an attempted to create some distance.

 

“She realised I wasn’t in it for the long haul and got fed up of trying to change my mind” Dean said softly his eyes struggling to keep on Cas as he spoke. He knew he needed to look at Cas but this topic of conversation and those blue eyes were really distracting him.

 

“You didn’t want to commit?” It was less a question more of a statement, because part of him knew Dean wasn’t happy with Lisa.

 

“It’s not that I didn’t want to…” Dean paused looking up at Cas.

 

“You just didn’t want to with her” Cas filled in for him.

 

“Exactly, look the right person is out there for me and she just knew it wasn’t her, besides I’m married to the job” Dean slapped his hands together forcing a bright smile moving past Cas and into the garage, he began busying himself with the engine lifting the cover off and assessing what needed doing that day.

 

“Dean, are you okay? Really?” Cas asked from the office he knew he was pressing him cause clearly Dean didn’t want to talk about it but he needed to know.

 

“I’m fine Cas, really” Dean turned to look at him rubbing off the grease that was already forming on his hands.

 

“Dean, about the other night I feel bad…”

 

“Don’t! Just stop right there, I know what you’re going to say and don’t, I’m sorry I pushed you into talking about something you clearly didn’t want to discuss” Dean butted in quickly he didn’t want Cas to think badly of him and he certainly didn’t want to drag out whatever this argument was.

 

“I am sorry though, I’m also sorry I didn’t tell you I was at the factory…dad told me you stopped by” Cas added suddenly feeling pounds lighter when Dean had brushed off his apology.

 

“Yeah, how was that by the way?” Dean always one to move the chick flick moment on.

 

“It was good” Cas sensing the tension and recognising when Dean didn’t want to talk about their disagreement any further. “The car looks amazing!” Cas beamed.

 

“Good, I cant wait to see it” Dean awkwardly smiled and essentially cut off the conversation it was too much for Dean to handle and the one thing he knew how to do was tinker with an engine so that’s what he focused on.

 

Cas glanced around him suddenly feeling like the elephant in the room, his eyes wandered to the suitcase and backpack half opened on the floor in the office. Dean’s few belongings in this world were strewn across the coffee table, it broke Cas’ heart to know that he had basically lost his home and his life in one night and he was taking it surprisingly well. Perhaps that was just Dean all over, he thought.

 

“Dean, do you need somewhere to stay?” Cas spoke moving towards the engine leaning his hands against the metal frame they’d been using as a make shift car for the time being.

 

‘I’m Okay’ Dean signed with his free hand not wanting to look up into those blue eyes knowing that if he did he would cave.

 

“Dean, you cant sleep on that rotten sofa for the rest of your life, let me help” Cas placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder and he visibly tensed.

 

“Not sure what you can do to help me, not like I can move in with you at your dad’s place” Dean shrugged not entirely sure what Cas was going to offer him but intrigued all the same.

 

“I have a place, you can crash there while me and Jack stay with my dad until the project is finished” Dean was noticeably taken aback by that revelation.

 

“Cas no I cant live in your home” Dean protested again.

 

“It’s fine, I don’t use the place and it’s a shame for it to just sit there, you can stay until you find your own place” Cas reasoned something behind his eyes caught Dean’s attention almost like relief.

 

“You sure about this Cas?” Dean pressed, his back couldn’t hold out on the sofa another night and the thought of an actual bed was calling to him but a part of him couldn’t help but feel bad to be invading someone’s home, even if they weren’t living there themselves. Dean noted that in his memory to ask Cas about at a later date.

 

“I’m sure, we can head over there after work”

 

“Well let me repay you somehow at least, I don’t want to be living there for nothing, is there anything I can do to help you out?” Dean offered.

 

“There is something now you mention it, I’ll need to drive out to the factory once a week until the completion date of the car, you’d be doing my dad a favour by looking after Jack for the day whilst I’m gone he doesn’t get much time for himself looking after Jack all the time” Dean was a little touched by the request, seeing Cas with Jack and knowing what he’s done for his son it was poignant that he’d trust him enough with his son.

 

“Of course, I love that kid he’s funny I’d be honoured to look after him” Dean had a giant beam on his face he had promised Jack he’d teach him sign language this was the perfect opportunity to teach him in secret.

 

“Great, so its sorted then” Cas added, Dean nodded and as simple as that they had agreed on a plan and they got back into work quietly working side by side.


	11. Head Lights

 

 

Cas drove his truck a few feet in front of Dean’s impala as he followed him to the house. It was a bit of a longer drive out of town and into the suburbs when Cas finally pulled over at the side of curb. Dean took in his surroundings around him were beautifully built white fronted homes like the ones you see at Christmas time covered in lights with 6ft trees in the windows, like something out of ‘it’s a wonderful life’. He switched off the engine and climbed out noticing immediately that Cas didn’t get out of his truck.

 

Dean approached his window and the most Cas would do was wind it down enough to have a conversation.

 

“You not coming in?” Dean asked leaning his arms on the window ledge of the truck so he was closer to Cas. In the darkness with just the street lamps for view it was harder for Cas to lip read.

 

“I’ll pass, there’s a reason this place is left empty” Cas turned his gaze to the house. The lack of light from the windows gave it a very cold feeling from the street.

 

‘Talk to me man’ Dean pulled his attention back with his hands making it clear he wanted to talk. ‘I don’t want to push this but you got to tell me what’s going on’ Dean knew he was pushing his luck and after last time he was nervous about Cas just driving off with Dean hanging out the window.

 

‘One moments’ Cas signed before climbing out the truck and making his way over to the pavement where Dean was waiting.

 

‘I don’t like going in, bad memories associated with this place’ Cas explained letting his hands do the talking because he feared if he spoke he would break down, all the emotions of that night would come flooding back.

 

‘What bad memories?’ Dean pushed.

 

Cas sighed deeply rubbing his hand over his face he could feel the pain rising up his neck to his ears like he was reliving the night he lost his hearing, he forced himself to look at the house and without speaking he tentatively moved towards the house, rummaging in his pocket for the keys as he went. Dean followed slowly behind as if he were waiting for Cas to process it all before finally speaking.

 

When they reached the house Cas opened the door and gently pushed the front door open to reveal a grand staircase leading upstairs. Cas didn’t look at Dean but nodded at the door as an invitation for Dean to go in first. Hesitating slightly he obliged and went inside, it felt cold inside the house matching the temperature on the outside and Dean couldn’t help but notice the white sheets covering the furniture in the large living room off to left of the entrance. There was dust covering the banister as Dean gently ran his fingers over the wood.

 

‘How long since you’ve been here?’ Dean looked almost concerned as Cas hovered in the doorway looking up the stairs as if he were scared something was going to come running down them and throw him from the house.

 

‘Nearly two years’ he signed not even looking at Dean he was building up the courage to take a step inside.

 

‘Why?’ Dean moved towards Cas to let him know he was still there and so the other man could feel his presence, it was clear the man was lost in some past memory that was dragging him further and further away.

 

‘I want to leave’ the tears were evident in his eyes now as he looked straight at Dean.

 

‘Come here’ Dean pulled Cas with speed out onto the porch where there was a bench waiting for them to sit down, Dean was worried that if Cas stood there much longer his legs would give way beneath him. ‘Talk to me’ Dean’s face was soft and inviting in an attempt to get him to open up.

 

Cas sat there for a long while just looking out over the porch at the cars parked on the street looking for his escape route no doubt Dean thought, he used to do the same thing whenever Sam and he pulled into a dirty motel. He would always park Baby near the room they were staying in and look at her from the window to reassure himself that they had an escape should something happen, or track them down.

 

Dean never took his eyes off Cas.

 

‘I never lived here, this was Kelly’s house’ Cas began looking up at Dean finding solace in his eyes. ‘Kelly was Jack’s mother, she left the house to Jack in her will along with some money but put me in charge of it until he turned 21’ Cas explained, seemed reasonable enough so far Dean thought.

 

‘I’m listening’ Dean signed.

 

‘After the accident we rebuilt the house, the parts that were damaged the worst were the master bedroom and the main upstairs corridor, my dad did most of the work I couldn’t face it not at first’ Cas paused to suck back a breath.

 

‘What happened that night?’ Dean asked getting down to what he’s wanted to know all along.

 

‘We had a fight, she called me that night asking me, begging me to give us another go but I told her it could never happen’ Cas wiped away a tear quickly trying his best not to let Dean see him vulnerable, ‘I told her to stop calling me, to only call me if there was something up with Jack.’ Dean could see Cas’ shaking hands but let the man continue, ‘An hour later she was calling me again to say the boiler was making a weird noise and could I come look at it, the heating had gone off and that it was for Jack’ Cas rolled his eyes at the memory remembering how annoyed he’d been at her using Jack as an excuse for him to go round.

 

‘It’s okay’ Dean put his hand over Cas’ shoulder getting him back on track.

 

‘By the time I pulled up to the house it was already in flames I could see Jack’s bedroom window was clear, I didn’t hesitate I went straight in I had to get him out’ Cas was shaking his hands racing as he signed what happened in detail, how he raced up the stairs having to keep low to the ground almost crawl to get to Jack’s room. He explained how he could hear Jack screaming through the door and how much of a relief it was to hear those screams knowing he was still alive. ‘I thought I lost everything that night, I could see Kelly’s room down the hall was in flames the corridor almost cut off by the heat coming from the flames in the spare bedroom.’

 

‘You went back in for her’ Dean stated his eyes brimming with tears and Cas relived that night in such detail that Dean felt like he was there with him.

 

‘The fireman tried to stop me at the door but all I could focus on was getting her out, I can still feel the heat it was so sharp like it was stabbing me from all angles, there was a blast from somewhere beside me a bright white light and then nothing’ Cas finished his face scrunched up from the memory taking complete control.

 

‘Cas, you weren’t to blame for what happened’ Dean still had his hand on his shoulder and was gently rubbing circles into it.

 

‘When I woke up in the hospital a week later my hearing was gone and Kelly was dead’ Cas used his now free hand to cover Dean’s that was on his shoulder gripping tight.

 

“You did everything you could to save them and you got Jack out alive,” Dean said leaning his head down so Cas could see him speak.

 

“I couldn’t save her” Cas broke down the tears falling heavy laying his head down on Dean’s shoulder letting the tears fall.

 

Dean stroked his back pulling him as close as he could just holding him letting him know he was still there that someone cared. After a few moments Dean pulled Cas back placing both his hands over either side of his head to face him.

 

“You saved that little boy and what a lucky kid he is to have a father like you, there is nothing you could have done to save Kelly and you cant beat yourself up about it the rest of your life” Dean didn’t care that he was practically shouting he needed Cas to know that.

 

“I’m reminded of that night every morning I wake up and cant hear my alarm or when I look at Jack and I know he’s laughing but I can’t hear him” Cas sobbed his vision blurred by the amount of tears.

 

“I’m so sorry” Dean said pulling him in for another hug letting the man calm himself down in his arms using him as a comfort.

 

“I cant go in because if I go in then I have to acknowledge that she’s really dead” Cas muttered into Dean’s shoulder and the words sent a chill down his spine.

 

“It’s time to let go….” Dean hesitated looking up at the house beside them the white walls and the open door and how dark it all looked. The house across the street drew their attention as the Christmas lights strung over every line on the house suddenly lit up the street. “Stay here tonight, with me” Dean looked directly into Cas’ eyes “Whichever room you want, you pick, heck we can sleep on the sofas again but you need to do this to move on…for Jack” Cas remained silent his eyes falling on the decorated house again.

 

“You wont leave me?” Cas asked.

 

“I won’t leave you” Dean replied.

 

“Okay then I’ll do it, for Jack so maybe one day he can have a proper home again.” Cas had a small smile on his face as he looked back at the house taking a deep breath.


	12. Air Bags

The next morning Dean awoke to a pain in his lower back, as nice as Castiel’s furniture was it wasn’t exactly comfortable to sleep on. They had opted for the two sofas in the front room Dean on one Cas on the other because for Cas it was still just too soon to venture upstairs. It was a huge step for him to even enter the house.

 

Dean could see in the dim morning light that Cas was still fast asleep so he took the opportunity to have a nosey around. He didn’t really want to invade the man’s privacy but human nature got the better of him. He slowly wandered into the corridor, not that the noise would wake Cas but he didn’t want to chance it. The stairwell was dark and the weight of what happened on those stairs pushed down on Dean’s shoulders as he deliberately crept up the stairs to the landing at the top.

 

There was a window at the end of the corridor to the left the seemed to lead to at least three rooms that Dean could see, to the right there was an open door to what looked like a bathroom and further down a closed door drew him in. He shuffled towards it running his hand down the wallpaper, it was cold to the touch and it made him realise just how long it has been since anyone had lived here. This house hadn’t seen love or family in a long time.

 

Dean reached the door and gently pushed it open, it didn’t take much, inside revealed a nursery. The space felt like walking into a time capsule nothing everything was in its place yet felt lived in at one point. Dean picked up a stuffed cuddly toy that was laid toppled over in the cot it was well used based on the frayed edges of the teddies bow tie like someone had used this as their comfort for a long time.

He placed the toy back in the cot sitting up right. He turned his attention to the rest of the room there was a small dresser in the far corner of the room with photo frames perched on the top. His eyes immediately drew to the one at the back a simple wooden frame not very big with a faded photo with charred edges to the image. The image was of a happy slightly younger Castiel his face was beaming, Dean felt warm to the chest like seeing Cas happy made him happy. He was holding a light blue bundle and he could just make out the little face through the blanket it was obviously Jack, he had the same brown hair and dimple on his left cheek.

 

A creaking floorboard behind him snapped him back and he spun on his heel the photo frame now in his hand ready to fight off the intruder. Cas stood in the doorway hesitating as he gripped the doorframe.

 

“Cas, you scared me” Dean suddenly realising he was using the photo frame with precious family memories as a weapon. He awkwardly placed the frame back in its place carefully fixing it so it was in the same place as before.

 

“Sorry Dean I forget sometimes” He pointed at the floorboards understanding those were what had probably startled him.

 

“You sleep okay? You were pretty out of it when I got up” Dean muttered moving closer to Cas.

 

“Surprisingly I slept okay, obviously having a good cry did me good” Cas chuckled nervously suddenly very aware that he was stood in his sons nursery, his hair all messed up from sleep facing Dean Winchester. It felt too domestic and it frightened him. “I need to go, Jack will be wondering where I am” Cas looked startled from Dean’s perspective like a deer in the headlights.

 

Cas darted down the stairs heading for the front door slamming it into the wall as he sped towards his truck.

 

“Cas! Dammit Cas stop!” It was wasted breath as he chased after him. “Just stop!” Dean managed to catch up grabbing Cas by the arm and spinning him around, the momentum of the stop sent him crashing into Cas slamming him against the side of his truck.

 

“Let me go Dean” Cas struggled against his grip.

 

“I’m not letting go until you tell me what that was about?” Dean looked straight into his eyes having to use his free hand to hold his head still so he could see his lips.

 

“Nothing just bad memories I needed to get out” Cas replied trying to pull away again.

 

“No that wasn’t about the house fire that was something else, you were talking to me then all of a sudden you just flipped a switch, why?” Dean knew he was shouting and he didn’t care its not like Cas could hear him but the frustration was growing.

 

“Because of you OKAY!” Cas shouted back his blue eyes sharp pointed right at Dean.

 

“Me?” Dean was stunned not only had Cas shouted back at him but he was also blaming him.

 

“Yes you! Seeing you in Jack’s nursery it felt so right and it sounds stupid but you were with Lisa and I never thought…and then last night and…” Cas made a muffled noise as lips crashed to his Dean was kissing him full force pressing his body against Cas’ leaning on the side of the truck. The kiss was messy at first but slowed as the found their movement they fitted together almost perfectly. Dean was the first to pull away his eyes darting back and forth across Cas’ face taking a step back separating the warmth.

 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that” Dean was fussing with his shirt trying anything to stop from looking at Cas.

 

“No, no Dean that was…incredible…but I don’t understand you and Lisa?” Cas asked and Dean knew what he was referring to.

 

“I’m Bi” Dean scoffed shaking his head rubbing his hand through his hair “I cant believe I’ve said that out loud” He looked at Cas.

 

“If it helps…I didn’t hear it” Cas pointed at his ear cocking his head slightly making him look like a cat. Dean couldn’t help but laugh at the beautiful man standing before him.

 

“You can’t make jokes like that” Dean mockingly scolded him.

 

“Well no, but in present company I’m sure I can be forgiven” Cas smiled warmly at Dean who just smiled back, the smirk on his face softened as he took a daring step back into his personal space. He leant in slowly testing Cas’ reaction and when he didn’t pull away he took that as his cue to move in again. This time the kiss was slower and Dean used his hands roaming up his sides the soft fabric of his shirt sliding through his fingers and he traced them up until he could feel skin. They broke apart for air and Cas couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“I really have to go now, Jack has to get to nursery and we have work” Cas cleared his through manoeuvring in a circle in the small space between Dean and the truck till he could grab the handle. Dean stepped out of the space so he could open the door. Once Cas was settled into his seat and the window wound down he turned to smile at Dean, looking like he wanted to say something else.

 

“Take the day off, go spend the day with your son, go to the park or play catch be a dad for the day” Dean’s words were soft and he leant on the window.

 

“You sure?” Cas seemed taken aback by the suggestion. “But what about the car we have a deadline you know” Cas added.

 

“I’ll sort it, you go make some good memories” Dean tapped the car leaving Cas to contemplate what he’d just been offered, it was more than just a day off it was a chance to start again. He looked up at the house and his eyes fell on the master bedroom window he knew how to spend his day.


	13. Wipers

Cas wasted no time and raced back to Chuck’s place pulling into the drive with a skid he leapt from the car leaving the door wide open as he ploughed into the house.

 

‘Where the hell have you been?’ Chuck signed with a look of anger on his face.

 

‘I was at the house’ Cas replied avoiding his fathers angry glares, ‘Where’s Jack?’ he signed moving around the house from one room to the next looking for his little boy until he came to a stop in the dining room. Jack was sitting on one of the chairs that was far too big for him and was attempting colour a picture from his awkward position just below the table.

 

“Jack!” Cas called out to his son who shot his little head around, his curls bouncing, a wide smile plastered on his face.

 

“Daddy!” He clambered down from the chair and raced into Cas’ waiting arms.

 

“Missed you little man” Cas whispered into his ear as he held the boy close, he buried his nose into those soft curls and took in his sweet smell. He smelt of baby shampoo and cinnamon. It was the best smell in the world.

 

“Where have you been Daddy?” Jack leant back so his dad could see his lips.

 

‘Very good question’ Chuck signed moving into the room behind Jack catching Cas’ eye.

 

“I had a few things to sort out but I’m back now and me and you are going to spend the day together how does that sound?” Cas smirked at Jack whose eyes gleamed with excitement. Jack nodded his head enthusiastically as Cas put him back down. “Great, go grab your shoes then we’ll be off” Jack went running from the room in search of his shoes leaving Cas to face his own fathers wrath.

 

‘You don’t get to disappear for a night and come swanning back in without explaining yourself’ Chuck signed the anger evident in the way his hands slammed together in the signs.

 

‘I’m sorry, Dean had a falling out with his girlfriend he needed a place to stay so I let him crash at the house, we got talking and just ended up spending the night there’ Chuck raised his eyebrows at his sons explanation. ‘Nothing happened!’ he scowled back at his dad suddenly realising how it must look.

 

‘So why the sudden good mood, something must have happened?’ Chuck asked, it was a good job they were signing cause neither men wanted the innocent three year old in the other room to hear this.

 

‘Nothing happened…’ Cas’ hands paused hesitating as if he should reveal anymore. ]

 

‘Yeah right! I know you too well Castiel, something happened between you and Dean, tell me’

 

‘Okay fine! He kissed me, we kissed, happy now?’ Cas flung his arms in the air frustrated, more at himself than his father, he didn’t know what the kiss meant or whether or not Dean would want to make anything of it.

 

‘He kissed you?’ Chuck asked.

 

‘Well yeah at first, I didn’t exactly stop it’ Cas admitted feeling the heat flush to his cheeks it was still awkward talking to his father about these sorts of things.

 

‘So what does this mean exactly? And since when were you able to go back in the house?’ Chuck suddenly realised that part of the story understanding the gravity of Cas going back in.

 

‘That’s something we talked about, me and Dean, he listened and I don’t know what happened but him being there with me, it made me realise how silly I’ve been being scared of that place…he makes me feel safe’ Cas signed slowly feeling the words in his hands and what those words meant to him now.

 

‘You moving back there then?’ Chuck suddenly felt worried like he was about to lose his son and his grandson in one day.

 

‘Baby steps, dad’ Cas replied taking a step towards his dad putting his hand on his shoulder to reassure him.

 

‘Not sure how I’d cope without you two keeping me on my toes’ Chuck laughed sighing in relief as he wrapped his now free hand over his sons that was resting on his shoulder. Cas took this opportunity to wrap his arm around his dad pulling him in close, it had been a long time since he had hugged his father but it was comforting to know his father would always be there for him and reminded him just how much he’s done for their little family.

 

“Love you dad,” Chuck laughed knowing Cas wouldn’t hear him so he pulled away and signed ‘I love you too son’ brushing the back of his hand over Cas’ cheek just like he did when Cas was a boy.

 

It was that moment that Jack decided to come barrelling in interrupting the private father son moment, not that either men minded because the moment was over.

 

“You ready to go Jack!” Cas knelt down in front of Jack to help him zip up his coat that he’d obviously decided to put on himself without being asked.

 

“Ready! Where are we going daddy?” Jack asked when Cas looked up at him.

 

“We’re going home buddy” Cas smiled running the back of his hand over his son’s cheek in exactly the same way his father had just done to him.

 

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

Dean drove the impala back to the yard, he felt awkward being at the house alone, it made him feel like a trespasser in someone else’s life. Cas had said he could stay there however and maybe in time it wouldn’t feel as bad, so he nipped back to get the rest of his stuff from the garage and also get some work done. The car was nearly complete he just needed to connect the last few elements to the engine find and attach a fuel tank and begin the long task of testing it out.

 

He made his way inside and was surprised to find the place unlocked and the lights on. They hadn’t left it unlocked last night when they left, or had they?

 

Dean wandered over to the car pulling the tarp off it checking the engine in case any of the parts had been stolen, could be a break it? He thought, not finding anything missing he recovered the car and surveyed the room.

 

“Hello? Anyone in here?” He shouted out into the space, the noise of the kettle boiling in the other room startled him. “Robbers don’t make tea,” He muttered as he cautiously entered the room. Inside he was surprised to find Lisa fussing in one of the cupboards clearly looking for something to put the tea into. “Lisa! What the hell are you doing here?” He was angry yes, because what gave her the right to come into what was essentially his home. His things, his life, his job were all here nothing to remind him of their time together and that was just the way he liked it.

 

“I’m making tea would you like one?” She asked not looking at him or acknowledging his question.

 

“I can bloody see that Lisa! Jesus woman I thought someone had broken in! Do you know how important that car is in there, if someone were to break in here that’s weeks of work down the drain!” Dean was pissed and he wasn’t going to hide it.

 

“Its just a car Dean, not like you wouldn’t be able to rebuild, now…tea?” She finally turned to look at him holding out a mug.

 

“S’not the point! Cas and I have worked too long and too hard on this car for someone to rip it apart” He knew it wasn’t about the car he was just pissed that Lisa had wandered in uninvited to what had become their space, for him and Cas.

 

 _‘Since when did I start thinking of this as mine and Cas’ place’_ Dean suddenly thought snapping him away from the confrontation. It was only when Lisa spoke again that he was drawn away from that little thought.

 

“So what are you sleeping here now?” Lisa gestured to the scruffy sofa behind her and scoffed.

 

“So what if I am! What’s it to you anyway where I go, you were the one who threw _me_ out” Dean snapped back grabbing the rest of his things and stuffing them into a bag.

 

“Well seems to me you aren’t staying here, half your stuff was missing when I arrived” Lisa poured some water into the mugs and left the tea bags to soak it up.

 

“Like I said! What’s it to you?” Dean didn’t want to get into it with her he thought they were through that he could move on.

 

“Despite what you may think Dean I do still care about you”, Lisa slammed the kettle back down with a crash and spun to face Dean.

 

“I’m fine” Dean snarled back continuing to pack his bag up, his phone buzzed in his back pocket and he quickly flipped it out to check the notification.

 

_From: Cas_

_‘Thank you for last night, and this morning’_

Dean smiled fondly at the message he hadn’t been able to settle the high he was on since he kissed him that morning against the cold metal of Cas’ truck. It was like he was living his own personal rom com, as much as he claimed to dislike the soppy genre.

 

“Is that from Castiel” Lisa muttered stirring the tea, she could see the look on Dean’s face, it was a look he had never given her and it send a wrench of jealousy shooting through her.

 

“Uh, yeah it was” Dean suddenly remembered the other person in the room and shoved the phone back in his pocket without replying rapidly returning to the reality in front of him.

 

“Are you and he?” Lisa didn’t need to finish the question Dean knew exactly what she meant and its not like he was ashamed to admit he had feelings for Cas but it was weird to admit them to his now ex-girlfriend of all people.

 

“I don’t know, to tell you the truth Lisa I don’t know what’s going on with my life right now, I have no home, a complicated love life and a job we are already behind on so yeah you wanted to know how I am that’s how I am!” Dean shoved a jumper into the top of the bag and angrily zipped it closed he wanted to get out of there fast. Lisa tried to stop him as he stormed into the other room lifting the tarp on the exposed engine of their car, his and Cas’ car. Sighing heavily Dean ran his hand over his face scrubbing the stubble that he’d let grow longer than he would normally, making him look older and more worn that he actually was. He felt his current appearance of two-day-old flannel, an unkempt beard and his entire life in a duffel bag was an accurate representation of how his life was going.

 

“Dean where are you going?” Lisa stepped into the doorway feeling like there was a block on the room that prevented her from going closer to Dean.

 

“Look Lisa, I don’t know what your intention of coming here was but I’m fine I’ll find my feet I always do, you made it perfectly clear where we stand and I hate to say it but I’ve moved on” Dean didn’t want to hurt her not really, but the pained looked on her face flipped his stomach he needed an out and the door was still open from where he’d come in. In a few clear steps he darted for the door giving Lisa half a wave and avoiding all eye contact, before he knew it he was in the car and speeding off down the road. He flipped his phone out again and hit the only speed dial he had letting the phone ring whilst manoeuvring the car with his free hand.

 

“Dean?”

 

“Hey Sammy, I need to talk”


	14. Bumper

Jack was watching wide eyed out the window as they passed through the town getting closer to civilisation and moving towards the far side of town into the suburban area. The houses soon began to merge into one as the similar looking fronts dashed past the window. Jack kept pointing out the houses with notable Christmas lights that someone had clearly put a lot of effort into. It wasn’t long before they pulled up in the same spot where Cas had left Dean only that morning, it was coming up to midday now and the frost from that morning had rapidly disappeared in the sunlight. The house still looked cold and empty from the road, something Cas was going to fix it was the whole reason he was there.

 

“Daddy why are we here” Jack asked from the back seat but it was lost on Cas who carefully climbed out the truck and made his way to the back to release Jack from his car seat.

 

The pair remained silent as they wandered up the path with overgrown lawn on either side that was beginning to cover parts of the pavement. Jack’s hand tightened around Cas’ as he moved closer to the door the tense fingers in his hand caused Cas to glance down at his son the look on his face said enough.

 

“Jack, you okay buddy?” Cas stopped just in front of the door and leant down in front of Jack keeping a physical barrier between his son and the house that was clearly causing him some distress.

 

“I don’t want to daddy, I don’t like it” Jack’s eyes glistened with the beginnings of tears his hand still gripped tight to his dad. Jack was only a baby when the fire happened but Cas had made no secret about what happened to his mother, he felt like it was only fair that Jack knew what had happened. He obviously hadn’t gone into detail as he was still only an innocent child, he didn’t want to expose him to something so dark so young. All Jack knew was that his mother had gone to heaven after a big fire and she wouldn’t be coming back. That was the hardest part, when Jack was old enough to speak and understand why he didn’t have a mom like the other kids at his nursery, Cas had sat him down and told him why.

 

So walking up to the house now it wasn’t like Jack remembered the fire and was scared of those memories coming back, he was a small child who had a fear of new unfamiliar places and it wasn’t like this house currently had a very welcoming presence.

 

“It’s okay Jack, this is our house, we shouldn’t be scared of it, this is where we are going to play games and eat too much food at Christmas and where Santa’s going to bring you all your toys” Cas could feel the fear creeping up inside himself, he still hadn’t ventured too far up stairs only making it to Jack’s room but that was only because Dean was with him. But a part of him actually believed what he was telling Jack.

 

“I like Santa” Jack muttered sucking on the edge of his sleeve, it was a comfort thing that Cas had noticed him doing lately.

 

“You ready to go in, I’ll be with you the whole time” Jack nodded but still looked unsure.

 

Cas nodded back keeping a tight hold of his hand before heading inside, the lights were off and it felt just the same as when they had left that morning. Cas turned into the living room feeling relatively safe in there and flipped on the main light switch illuminating the room. Cas stopped abruptly in the doorway stunned by what he was faced with.

 

Where there was once white sheets covering almost every item of furniture in the room, it was now clear revealing all the classic looking furniture in the room making it look like it was straight out of a home living catalogue. The space had been cleaned there didn’t appear to be any speck of dust left and in the corner of the room in front of a large bay window was a 7ft tall Christmas tree undecorated but the boxes strewn around the base of the tree were filled to the brim with baubles and tinsel and tangled balls of twinkle lights.

 

A hand on Cas back drew him away with a start as he turned around coming face to face with bright green eyes.

 

“Dean!”

 

“Hey, I didn’t expect you back so soon” Dean had flushed red cheeks his hands were wrapped up in thick black gloves and he smelt of pine tree and sawdust.

 

“What have you been doing?” Cas laughed as he gestured to the room behind him.

 

“Well I thought I could get it done before you came back but I wanted to make this place feel like a home again, for you and for Jack”

 

“Thank you Dean” Cas flung his arms around him not holding back from the mix of emotions building inside him.

 

“Come on now, no chick flick moments” Dean laughed nervously hugging Cas back for a moment before pulling away and re-establishing his macho exterior. Cas just smiled warmly at him taking a step back. “Right, I’m going to head out and get a few things, I thought maybe we could have ourselves a pre-Christmas dinner kind of like a practice for the big day, so why don’t you two decorate that tree” Dean tickled Jack causing the boy to squeal with delight “and I will be back in a few hours I want to see that tree looking like Christmas perfection when I get back okay Jack, I’m leaving you in charge” Dean turned back to Cas who was watching the exchange with a warm smile and doughy eyes.

 

“Thank you for all of this” Cas muttered moving in slowly giving Dean a gentle kiss on his cheek.

 

“Your welcome, I should go I’ll be back soon,” Dean pointed at Cas then at Jack “Christmas perfection remember” he laughed backing out the door, not really wanting to leave but knowing that Cas needed this time with his son to heal.

 

……………………………………………………………….

 

_“What’s up Dean?” Sam’s voice was distorted over the phone but Dean could just about make it out._

_“I need some help, so a lot has happened since your visit, Lisa threw me out” Dean muttered hoping the phone didn’t garble his speech too much._

_“She what! Why? What happened?”_

_“It wasn’t right, it was never going to be right I guess I was lying to myself pretending that if I went along with what she wanted that one day it would feel right” Dean sighed deciding to pull over at the side of the road shutting off the engine, this talk was going to need his full attention._

_“Something happened with Cas didn’t it?” Sam asked stunning Dean to silence for a few moments. “Dean?”_

_  
“Yeah Sammy, I’m still here…and yeah something did happen” There was a pause on both ends as Dean tried to figure out how to tell his brother, and Sam who was absorbing the information._

_“Dean, you have to be honest with yourself for once in your life go for what makes_ you _happy instead of pleasing everyone else” Sam was right and Dean knew that, he just hated when he baby brother was right it made him feel old._

_“Since when did you become wiser than your older brother” Dean scowled._

_“Since my older brother couldn’t get his act together and admit he was gay” he loved it when Sam was blunt it was actually very useful._

_“Alright I admit it, I’m gay! I’m in love with a man! You happy now?” Dean snapped on his end of the line._

_“Wait what? You’re in love with him?” Sam was surprised, he knew Dean was trying to admit something to him but he never expected to hear the words ‘love’ come out his mouth. Its not like Dean was incapable of love, he loved Sam because he was his brother, he loved Bobby like a father and in his own way at least at some point he had loved Lisa. But never had Sam ever heard his brother say the words out loud._

_“Shit…I think I am…damn it Sammy I’m in love with this guy and I don’t know what to do about it!”_

_“Tell him! You have to tell him how you feel”_

_“I can’t just tell him I don’t think I can” Dean muttered feeling ashamed at his own cowardice._

_“Then show him!”_

That’s exactly what Dean had tried to do but Cas had arrived back at the house sooner than he had hoped but this could still work out. They hadn’t even discussed their kiss or what it meant, clearly Cas felt the same or at least had feelings for him but whether they were as strong as Dean’s was yet to be discovered.

 

Dean was wandering through the isles of the supermarket when his phone buzzed in his pocket. It had been exactly an hour since he had left the house and the name coming up on the screen read Cas in big letters with the notification for a text.

 

_From: Cas_

_Bobby’s called me to the factory he needs an update on the engine they are ready to transport it to the factory whenever we are._

_From: Dean_

_Tell him we can have it there next week but that it’ll need testing once it’s all put together._

_From: Cas_

_Can you look after Jack for a while Bobby’s insisting I go down there now_

Dean sighed, his perfect pre Christmas plan would have to go on hold for a little while and his chat with Cas about what they are would have to go on hold too.

 

_From: Dean_

_Sure I’ll be there in ten_


	15. Cylinders

Dean arrived back at the house a short time later and lugged in the bags of groceries he’d managed to finish buying after the text from Cas. He glanced into the living room on the way past into the kitchen and saw Jack sitting alone twirling a Christmas ribbon around in his fingers the kid looked miserable. Dean’s heart ached for the boy so he dumped the bags in the doorway of the kitchen and silently walked up to Jack on the sofa and sat down beside him.

 

“You okay kid?” Dean asked nudging his shoulder gently when he got no response; Jack just twirled the ribbon around in his hand.

 

“Oh Dean you’re here! I’ll be off then, I wont be long a few hours at most” Cas was fussing with his long beige trench coat something Dean had seen him in the first day they met and it had become a staple feature of Cas’ exterior ever since. Cas rushed into the room kissing Jack on the top of the head over the back of the sofa ruffling the curls as he said his goodbyes.

 

“You boys be good I’ll be back soon” Cas was completely oblivious to the state his son was in and it angered Dean. He had never been angry at Cas before but this was the one time he was feeling resentful, here sat the most beautiful little boy that any parent would wish for and he was clearly upset but Cas chose to ignore that. As much as Dean had grown to adore the work on what had become their car there were more important things in this world and he was sitting on the sofa beside Dean resting his little head against his arm.

 

“He always has to work” Jack muttered quietly still twirling the ribbon in what Dean guessed was a comfort thing.

 

“I know buddy, but the cars nearly done and once its finished he will be back to being your daddy” Dean knew it was a pathetic excuse and he felt the annoyance in himself building up as he said it.

 

When he was a kid their dad had worked all over the country moving from one place to the next he was hardly ever home, and the one time he did come back for an extended amount of time was the time he would be gone for good. Dean winced at the memory thinking back to the night his parents were killed, it was something that had become easier to think about over the years but it never really stopped hurting. They had started out living with Bobby after their parents had died, but Dean could never settle there it was like something was pulling him away, if he stopped anywhere for too long he would get restless so for a long time he travelled much like his father had done. He picked up odd jobs mostly fixing cars and would never stay in a town for long. He missed his brother like crazy when he was away until one day he was returning to the dingy motel he was staying in when a twelve year old Sam had appeared at the door with his bag packed ready to follow his brother anywhere. Nothing would convince Sam to go back to Bobby so he looked after him.

 

A part of him hated his mom and dad for leaving them for leaving him to raise his brother to run away and live in motels having to lie to suspicious receptionists who would question where their parents were. Dean’s favourite would be, ‘Dad’s pulling the car around’ it became easier to get them to believe him the older he got.

 

When Bobby had called and asked him to come back to work for him he had been hesitant he knew that he would be walking right back into his past and that wasn’t something he was prone to doing. That was until that morning he walked into the conference room and was struck by deep blue eyes and ever since then something was rooting him here.

 

“You know my dad worked a lot too” Dean nudged Jack with his arm trying to get his attention.

 

“Really? Are you mad at your daddy too?” Jack’s innocence broke his heart.

  
“I was, but that was a long time ago, I’m not mad anymore now I just miss him” Dean looked down at his hands that were involuntarily twisting and tightening around the other trying to ground himself.

 

“Where is he?” Jack asked looking up with sweet worried eyes at Dean.

 

“He died when I was a little boy” Dean didn’t like lying to kids especially about something as big as death.

 

“Like my mommy did, daddy said she died which means she’s in heaven?” Jack said the words that he’d obviously been told at some point and let the question hang in the air.

 

“Yeah, like your mommy, I think they are all up in heaven now but just because they are so far away doesn’t mean she loves you any less Jack don’t you forget that” Dean pressed a finger to the little boys chest making him giggle. “And just because your daddy has to work and he’s far away doesn’t mean he wont ever come back” He knew it was a bit of a cop out because his father hadn’t come home so a part of him would never really believe the words coming out of his mouth but he had to remind himself he was talking to an upset three year old.

 

“I want to tell daddy I love him, with my hands” Jack lifted his hands up in front of him wriggling his fingers trying to sign.

 

“I can teach you whatever you want, you just tell me what you want to tell your dad and we can practice it” Dean had thought the three year old would forget about their little signing lessons but obviously this meant a lot to him so he would help him out however he could.

 

“I want to tell him I love him,” Jack repeated looking up with a stern look at Dean.

 

“Okay, we can do that” Dean chuckled at Jack’s expression this kid meant business.

 

……………………………………………………………………….

 

 

Cas wandered into the main reception building of the factory greeting the bouncy receptionist with a grin.

 

“I’m here to see Mr Singer, I’m Castiel…” He commented as her tapping at the keyboard interrupted him, she remained like that for a moment before smiling brightly up at him.

 

“He’s down the hall I’ll ring through and let him know you’re here” He nodded a thanks and walked off towards the corridor she had pointed at. This place was posh the whole building was clad in white tiles that seemed to give it a futuristic finish. There were glass walls on one side of the corridor that looked out over the factory floor, he could see all the workers in their white coats and safety masks fluttering around the room busy with whatever job they were doing. His eye caught a glimmer of green and he was drawn to the one car sitting on a podium in the middle of the factory floor it was his car! At this distance he couldn’t appreciate the fine details he had included in his design but the colour was perfect, it had a matte finish to the paint with speckles of amber making it look like it was covered in glitter. It was stunning.

 

Cas managed to peel his eyes away long enough to spot Bobby standing at the door to his office. He knew Bobby had purchased this factory around a year ago when they first kick started this project and it was finally nearing it ending. The car was built it just needed Dean’s prototype engine and a few tests and it would be ready for the public.

 

‘Castiel, come on in’ Bobby signed inviting Cas inside the surprisingly modest office. It was the complete opposite of the building Cas had just walked through. This room was lined with wooden panels and had a beautifully carved desk in the centre of the room and had matching armchairs in front of the desk.

 

‘Lets get down to it shall we’ Bobby sat in the tall backed leather chair on the far side of the desk whilst Cas took a seat in the not surprisingly comfy armchair.

 

‘I would appreciate that, Jack is waiting at home’ Cas added hoping to move things along, he hadn’t failed to notice the sullen look his son had on his face when he left over an hour ago.

 

‘Of course, family is important, speaking of how’s Dean getting on with the prototype engine?’ Cas had filled him in last time he was at the factory but Dean had progressed significantly since then, without Cas’ assistance.

 

‘He says its nearly ready, he told me to tell you it would be ready next week’ Cas couldn’t help but glance around the room taking in all the intricate carvings in the wood.

 

‘Fantastic, just in time for the big reveal’ Bobby stopped signing so he could grab an envelope from his desk draw, ‘These are for you and Dean, naturally you’re automatically invited but have to make it formal. I’ve added a plus one for the pair of you so you may bring whomever you desire, I’m assuming Dean will want to bring Lisa’ Bobby paused at the confused head tilt Cas automatically gave him at the mention of Lisa.

 

‘He didn’t tell you?’

 

‘Tell me what?’ Bobby was the one looking confused now.

 

‘Lisa threw him out a few days ago now, I found him sleeping in the garage so I set him up at my place last night’ Cas explained not really sure he should be revealing too much about Dean’s personal life but this was Bobby surely Dean wouldn’t mind.

 

‘No he didn’t say, so he’s staying with you and Chuck then?’ Bobby asked half-heartedly.

 

‘No…Dean’s staying at my home with me and Jack’ Cas stared at Bobby this time making his point clear.

 

‘Well, isn’t that cosy’ Bobby’s face screamed sarcasm.

 

‘What’s that supposed to mean, I’m just helping out a friend’ Cas was feeling the rage bubble up.

 

‘Here’s the deal with Dean, I love the kid practically raised him when his parents died, but he’s troubled he doesn’t settle easily…all I’m saying Castiel is don’t get attached, I can guarantee that as soon as this project is over he’s off again’ Bobby stood up from his chair circling the desk to lean on the front so he was standing over Cas, he had the air of a father figure about him.

 

‘He wouldn’t just leave…he…’ Cas didn’t know what to say he could have sworn there was something more behind that kiss that there was the potential for something deeper.

 

‘I’ve seen this before with Dean, he declined my offer of a permanent job don’t know what I was thinking asking in the first place. He’s just not the type for a 9-5, I was surprised when he moved in with Lisa to be honest, never thought I’d see the day, obviously that didn’t last either’ Bobby was rambling on and Cas just sat and watched his hands move on and on he was describing someone Cas didn’t know, this wasn’t the Dean he knew.

 

“You’re wrong!” Cas stood up and hoped he was shouting, not that he could hear himself anyway.

 

“Excuse me?” Bobby was taken aback by the outburst but not entirely surprised his surprise grew to sympathy when he looked closer at Cas.

 

“Castiel, I don’t want to see you get hurt by him, I would quit while you’re ahead cause its only going to hurt more in the long term when he does leave” Bobby rose from his leaning position and approached Cas placing a gentle hand over his shoulder which did settle Cas’ rage a little.

 

“Maybe he’s changed” Cas muttered causing another squeeze on his shoulder from Bobby.

 

“I’m always hoping he will come home one day, now go home I’ll have a chat with Dean about getting the engine here this week and I’ll see you at the opening event…okay?” Bobby’s hand never left his shoulder as he squeezed a little tighter to reassure the angered man.

 

“Okay” Cas wasn’t convinced and the rage sent him into a daze, he picked up his bag and wander out the room back down the corridor all in a state of disbelief, before he knew it he was back at his car and the whole conversation had replayed in his mind on the way there. Maybe it was time to take a step back from Dean Winchester if Bobby was right then he wouldn’t get attached he couldn’t get hurt not again.


	16. The grand reveal

The night of the grand reveal arrived, Bobby had invited as many top names in the business as he could many of which respected his position, having one of the biggest car dealership industries gave you some standing. Dean had been fussing with his tie for a good ten minutes before Cas eventually smacked his flailing hands away and grabbed the offensive piece of fabric.

 

“Will you stop flapping for two minutes” Cas spoke with a rough voice but the smirk on his face told Dean he was teasing him.

 

“I just hate these things, cant I just make the damn thing hand it over and walk away” Dean spoke towards Cas who glanced up, his hands still wrapped around the tie, tightened as the last bit of what Dean said sunk in. Cas sunk his gaze back to the tie and didn’t reply his hands focused on fixing the green tie. ‘You okay?’ Dean signed when he realised Cas wasn’t going to look back up at him.

 

“I’m fine, just nerves I guess”

 

“Yeah, I hate public speaking” Dean commented hoping that whatever wave of awkwardness that had washed over Cas wasn’t anything to worry about.

 

The door to the small box room they had been put in opened to reveal Bobby in his own tux. “You boys ready?” Bobby hung off to the door clearly not wanting to stop.

 

“Yeah we’ll be out in a moment” Dean replied nodding at Bobby who left them alone once more.

 

“Are we ready?” Dean asked Cas.

 

Cas’ eyes went wide and his heart rate picked up as the question held so much more meaning to him than what sat on the front of it. To Cas it meant, are they ready for something serious, is Dean ready for something serious, will he stay?

 

“Ready” Cas spoke softly letting go of the tie that he realised he was still clinging to.

 

………………………………………………………………………

 

Cas and Dean stood in the wings of the make shift stage that had been put up in the middle of the clean white factory that Cas had been to only a week before.

 

Their car, their pride and joy the piece of machinery that Cas had spent months planning and designing and that had been the main frame behind the development of one of the greatest friendships Cas had ever had. It was finally over, all of it had lead to them to this point, and all the hours spent working together in the garage. The time spent putting the final touches to Cas’ vision for a nearly perfect engine.

 

Cas had designed the engine to sit much like a classic VW, in the back of the car gaining access to the main framework from the boot of the car. He had designed the basic elements of the engine but had left the fine-tuning down to Dean, he was after all the classic car expert and knew what would make the engine fly.

 

They hadn’t spoken, not properly, since they shared the kiss or since Cas had spoken to Bobby and Dean had started to suspect something was up with Cas to the point it had become awkward between them. Now they were about to reveal their creation to the world including some of the top car dealers and a range of reviewers for multiple car magazines and publications. It was a big deal and Cas was getting nervous. A hand settled on his shoulder as he watched Bobby up on stage, he couldn’t see what was being said and there wasn’t a translator either so it was a fair assumption to think he was simply welcoming everyone.

 

‘What’s Bobby saying?’ Cas signed as the hand on his shoulder reassured him that Dean was close by.

 

‘The usual pleasantries, why? You getting paranoid? It’s okay if you are, some of the best artists were paranoid nut jobs’ Dean smirked nudging into Cas slightly gaging his reaction. Cas’ warm smile was enough to reassure Dean that he had got through to him but hadn’t broken down the wall he’d had up for over a week now.

 

‘Shut up’ Cas signed back so quickly Dean nearly didn’t catch it. Cas turned around to face Dean, a serious look plastered on his face. ‘Will you speak for me? My speech isn’t great these days and I’m just worried I’ll make a fool of myself’ Cas finished the blush creeping up his cheeks.

 

‘Your voice is fine Cas, but sure I’ll speak for us’ Dean wasn’t a great public speaker he wasn’t great with people full stop. He preferred to be under the car where he could let his creativity flow. The pair settled into silence as they watched Bobby finish up on stage, the audience looked captivated and Cas could see some of the photographers grouped at the back, begin to get edgy as they readied their cameras. The reveal was about to happen.

 

“Ladies and Gentleman, may I present to you The Emerald Jack” Bobby’s voice rang out over the microphone as the white sheet was pulled back from the car shaped stand next to the stage revealing Cas’ dream car.

 

The audience erupted into cheers and applause as the podium spun in a full 360 letting them get a good look at all angles of their masterpiece. Cas’ heart stopped seeing his vision in the flesh or in this case the metal. He watched as the light caught the angles of the rear bumper how it sloped up over the top of the car contrasting to the jagged edged design of the front end two polar opposites. The colour was even more defined than when he had first seen it across the factory floor, now he could really appreciate the speckles of amber that seemed to swirl like he was watching the surface of water. He felt a warm hand wrap around his own squeezing tightly, as he turned to see who it was his eyes grew wide as he caught the flash of amber in Dean’s eyes. The soft green colour of his iris seemed to shimmer with specks of amber that he had never noticed before. He spun back to the car, how had he not realised this before. Cas had asked to change the colour from the concept design quite late into the build and now he knew why he had been so insistent on it being that particular shade of green.

 

“It’s you” Cas muttered under his breath.

 

Dean gave him an odd look but before he could ask what he meant Bobby was calling the pair of them up on stage. Dean pulled his hand free of Cas’ warm grip and placed his hand on his shoulder guiding him up on stage.

 

Cas was swept up by it all not realising he was even on stage until he was stood beside Dean at the microphone faced with a sea of smiling faces and camera lenses.

 

“Thank you everyone, you’ll forgive me if I sign all this, only Castiel cant hear and I want him to hear this” Dean looked across at Cas with a warm smile. Cas nodded for him to continue letting him know he was there with him.

 

“When Bobby called me and asked me to help out on a little project, I thought yeah great this will keep me out of trouble for a few months” The audience chuckled as he paused, “What I didn’t realise taking on this project was just how much I would come to appreciate the beauty that can go into a machine like this.”

 

The audience were silent and every set of eyes was on Dean including Cas whose heart was hammering in his chest watching his hands move.

 

“This is actually the first time I’m seeing this car in its completed form and just by looking at this car you can see that Cas has put his entire heart and soul into the design. Every detail of this car has been thought about from the contrasting frame to the specific colour…even the name, emerald Jack, it represents who this man beside me is” Dean glanced over at Cas letting their eyes meet for the briefest of moments before turning back to the audience. “So even if you reviewers out there only see a car with a ‘classic’ design, you’ve seen our car and by effect you’ll have seen our hearts and our souls and most importantly you’ll have seen the friendship that developed during this whole process. Thank you” Dean stepped back from the microphone and let the applause wave across him ignoring the cheers and captivated faces for one set of deep blue eyes that were fixed to his.

 

………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

 

 

The stage was now full of people mingling as waiters in black aprons dished out the nibbles. Cas had been avoiding talking to people mostly hiding in the wings but everyone seemed to want to speak to him, the only downside to being the designer he supposed.

 

There was a crowd of people stood chatting animatedly around the car none of them daring to lay a finger on the pristine bodywork. He was standing alone nursing a glass of champagne as he scanned the room, months of work had all lead to this day and somehow none of it mattered. He was pulled from his thoughts when he spotted Dean nearby being cornered by a rather tailored looking man with a neat short hair cut and perfectly pressed tie, the man had an air of importance about him.

 

“We would be thrilled to invite you to join our team, you’ll be working alongside some of the top mechanics in the field and working for some rather influential clients, not bad pay too, you’ll be starting in triple figures” Cas could see the mans lips moving slowly enough for him to catch the bulk of what he was saying, he was offering Dean a job.

 

“Thank you for the offer sir” Dean shook the man’s hand and the pair shared the same substantial smile.

 

“Great, I’ll be in contact, I’m sure you’ll fit in just fine, Ireland is a wonderful place if you like vast amounts of rain that is” The man laughed at his own joke letting Dean’s hand fall back to his side, he patted Dean on the shoulder before catching someone’s attention and walking away.

 

Dean spotted Cas and smiled brightly as he made his way over to him. Cas didn’t want to speak to him, there was a rage building inside him and he couldn’t shake it he was going to say something he regretted if he came over now. Thankfully for him Bobby interrupted Dean before he could say anything.

 

‘Castiel, you’re a hit they love the car it’s incredible we have never had this kind of reception before!’ Bobby signed his enthusiasm showing on his face and the way he slung his arm over his shoulder crushing Cas beside him.

 

“Thank you sir” Cas couldn’t sign his hands were currently being pinned to his side.

 

“No thank you! The job is yours as promised, take a few weeks off spend some time with your son because when you come back there will be a whole new team of people waiting for you to kick start the next incredible machine” Bobby roared slapping his hand on Cas’ arm.

 

“Congratulations Cas” Dean said his smile wasn’t all there like Bobby’s and he could tell something was off with him.

 

“Thank you for the offer Bobby…but I cant…I can’t do this I’m sorry” It was everything Cas had thought he wanted, before this damn car before his accident before Dean fucking Winchester. Cas pulled himself free from Bobby’s vice like grip pushing past Dean knocking the guy slightly off balance.

 

“Whoa, just a minute Cas, Stop!” Dean raced after him managing to stop him a few steps away. ‘What’s gotten into you?’ Dean signed trying to save both of them the embarrassment of having an argument at their own event.

 

“I can’t do this! It’s too much! Thank you so much for the offer Bobby but you’ll be receiving my resignation by the end of the week! ” Cas snapped, looking over at the confused look on his boss’ face and the concern pulling at Dean’s brow.

 

“Cas what do you mean? You can’t throw this offer away, it’s everything you wanted!” Dean didn’t care if he was shouting now he couldn’t stop his hands from shaking.

 

“It’s everything I thought I wanted, until you had to come swanning in with your car and your stupid green eyes and the way you run your hand through your hair when you’re nervous!” Cas knew he sounded insane but he needed Dean to know what effect he had on him. As if on cue Dean’s hand ran across the soft short hairs at the base of his neck.

 

“Cas, you’re not making any sense” Dean whispered stepping closer to him but was stopped short when Cas stepped away waving his hands at him.

 

“Just don’t, enjoy Ireland, it was nice knowing you Dean Winchester” Cas’ voice went hard not waiting to continue the argument he turned and stormed off pushing through a crowd of people his hand making contact with the same well groomed man Dean had been talking to and it took every ounce of his being not to scowl at the man as he passed.

 

……………………………………………………………………………………..

 

Chuck was in the back room flipping through an old photo album labelled Castiel/Jack when he heard the front door open and slam closed followed shortly by his son’s voice. “Jack go upstairs I’ll be up in a minute to tuck you in okay” The voice was soft for Jack’s sake but Chuck knew his son well enough to know something bad had happened. He turned the corner as Jack raced passed him, he gently ruffled Jack’s hair as he sped past him turning to face his son.

 

“What’s happened?” Chuck asked as the tears began to form in Castiel’s eyes.

 

“Dad” The word was forced and choked as the tears took over he rushed towards his father throwing his arms around him letting the tears fall over his shoulder.

 

“Hey, hey its okay!” Chuck whispered obviously Cas couldn’t hear him but he liked to think he could as he rubbed his hand firmly up and down his back letting him know he was there for him. They stayed there for a few moments Chuck just letting Cas cry it out, it felt nice to have his son need him once more. It had changed when Cas had become a teenager it felt like he’d lost his son that he would never need his comforting hugs anymore. The last time he had held Castiel like this was the day he had woken up in the hospital with no hearing and no Kelly. As good as it felt to be needed the concern was only growing as he pulled his son back to face him cupping his hands over Cas’ face using his thumb to wipe away the tears.

 

“You going to tell me what happened?” Chuck smiled warmly and all Cas could do in response is nod. Chuck led him to the sofa and gently helped him sit down perching on the sofa beside him until he had calmed down enough to talk. “Use your hands if you need to” Chuck rubbed circles into his back.

 

‘It’s all a mess’ Cas signed watching his hands carefully as they were shaking so much he had to make sure he was getting the signs right.

 

‘What is? Is this about Dean?’ Chuck asked carefully not to upset him again.

 

‘He’s accepted a job, in Ireland! Bobby warned me he wouldn’t stick around, that it wasn’t in his nature to settle in one place…but a part of me hoped that…’ Cas’ hands faltered as the shaking increased reliving the emotions he had felt when he saw Dean talking to the well groomed man.

 

‘You wanted him to stay?’ Chuck asked trying to get him to open up and continue.

 

‘I hoped I would be enough, that me and Jack would be enough for him to want to stay’ Cas finished letting a fresh set of tears fall.

 

‘Oh son, I’m so sorry…There’s not an awful lot an old codger like me can say to make it okay, but I will tell you one thing, a hug from your little boy is one of the greatest medicines in the world’ Chuck nudged Cas as he let out a short laugh at his dad’s words.

 

‘I better go put him to bed’ Cas smiled at his dad pointing up the stairs where his little boy was currently getting ready for bed.

 

‘Those are the moments that count’ Chuck signed letting Cas get up from the sofa and watching him head upstairs.

 

When Cas got up to Jack’s room the young boy was already tucked up in bed pretending to be fast asleep but Cas knew better. He crept up to the bed and pulled the covers up higher onto the ‘sleeping’ form of the boy as he tucked the covers in at the sides he let his hands tickle the boy’s sides until he squealed with delight and started to laugh.

 

“Daddy! That tickles” Jack whined.

 

“It’s supposed to” Cas laughed sitting on the side of the bed beside his son.

 

“Do I have to go to bed?”

 

Cas just nodded at his son “hmm-hmm”

 

“But I’m not tired” Jack whined pulling his hands up to his chest.

 

“Well I’m tired and daddy can’t sleep until you sleep okay?”

 

“Why not?”

 

“So many questions!” Cas laughed stroking his soft curls.

 

“Daddy!” Jack was laughing but the whinge was in there too.

 

“Jacky!” Cas mimicked. “Go to sleep okay”

 

“Okay” Jack nestled into the duvet as Cas gave him a quick kiss on the forehead and stood up going to switch off the lamp he caught something in the corner of his eye.

 

“What Jack?” Cas asked warmly looking down at his son who had his hand held up like he was asking a question at school.

 

Cas watched waiting for his son to speak but no words came out of his mouth, Jack pulled his hands up in front of him using his free hand he pulled his pinkie finger up pushing the next two fingers down leaving the index and thumb in place struggling to keep the three fingers upright he pushed his hand out in front of him and waved it back and forth. ‘I love you’

 

Cas was stunned, Jack had never shown any interesting in learning sign language and he had pretty much given up teaching him because he could never make it stick.

 

“Who taught you that?” Cas asked hurriedly sitting back down on the bed grasping Jack’s tiny hand in his.

 

“Dean showed me, I wanted you to hear me say I love you” Jack’s innocence broke his heart.

 

“I love you too Jack” Cas wasn’t prepared for his son to throw his arms around him but he’s glad he did, his dad was right, it was the perfect medicine.


	17. Turbo Charged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its been such a long time since my last update, I was incredibly busy over christmas working both jobs but got a few days off so going to power through and get this finished. Hopefully, I have loved writing this story so much and I really hope people like it.

Dean was pacing his nervous hand running through his hair just like Cas had said. Bobby was saying goodbye to the last few guests and had told him to wait up in his office, they needed to discuss Cas’ outburst and Dean needed some space to calm down. Dean had been bombarded with questions after Cas’ outburst, people were concerned there was something more serious going on within the business. Bobby had said they were just snooping, any sniff of weakness and they would be all over them. Shortly after, Bobby had sent him upstairs more to let his adoptive son have some time along and protect him from the vultures.

 

Dean could hear the last few voices fade away as they wandered into the car park the roar of classic engines disappearing into the distance. Of course these CEOs arrived in classic flashy cars. A few moments after the last engine disappeared he heard Bobby’s footsteps wandering down the hallway.

 

Bobby stepped into the room closing the door behind him with a quiet click as he turned to face Dean, who had stopped pacing but was now frantically chewing the edge of his fingernails.

 

“So” Bobby spoke sighing deeply as he took in the haggard appearance of his adoptive son. It was like he was looking at Dean as a little boy again, his hair all messed up from where he’d been running his fingers through it and the state of his suit. The jacket had been abandoned on one of the chairs, the tail of his shirt was sticking out the back and his tie was unrecognisable as it hung in a tight knot somewhere below his chest.

 

“I don’t know what happened, one minute I was talking to the posh guy the next I have Cas screaming in my face” Dean pulled the tie loser trying to untangle himself from its suffocating grasp.

 

“There is one thing I failed to inform you about Castiel before you started working together…he’s damaged, the poor kid has been hurt one too many times and perhaps on this occasion I let my own greed for success distract me from the fact that putting you and he together was quite possibly the worst decision I’ve ever made” Bobby rattled off his speech letting the words wash over Dean as his eyes grew wider the more he spoke.

 

“Bobby, this was the best thing you could have done! Bringing me here making me stay, if it weren’t for you…wait” Dean paused “What did you say to him?”

  
“I told him the truth” Bobby said very matter of fact.

 

“Of course he flipped out when he has you telling him I’m a flight risk! Damn it Bobby!”

 

“But you won’t stay…will you?” Bobby asked sceptically.

 

“What are you talking about?” Dean moved to lean against the desk to support him, he was feeling the strain of the past few hours beginning to take their toll.

 

“I know you Dean Winchester, just like your father, always running from place to place searching for something that was starring him in the face the whole time” Bobby moved over to the chair and slumped down into in rubbing his hand over his face as if he was trying to clear away the stress with one clean swipe.

 

“I’m not like him” Dean went cold as he glared at Bobby.

 

“You are, more than you know! He was a damned fool your father, and you are falling into the same trap” Bobby pointed his finger at Dean trying to get his point across.

 

“What are you talking about? Do you see me going anywhere?” Dean snapped returning to pacing around the room.

 

“So you’re denying that you were offered a job?” Bobby was up on his feet now too squaring up to Dean.

 

“Well yeah, I mean no…Some guy offered me a lot of money to go work for him in Ireland, yeah”

 

“Just like I said, you’re running” Bobby pointed again, he knew he was no match for Dean if this turned physical but he could at least use his boss voice to scare some sense into him.

 

“I never said I’d take the job, anyway how the hell do you know who I’ve been talking to?” Dean snapped finally feeling defensive.

 

“Because I know the guy too well, his names Zachariah, he works for a guy called Raphael he’s sort of his agent if you like. Raphael has been after my company for years I knew as soon as I saw him speaking to you what he was trying to do” Bobby’s voice grew soft with concern, concern for his boy. “I told him nice try but Dean Winchester isn’t for sale”

 

“I don’t need protecting Bobby I’m not a kid”

 

“I know that, you’ve not been a kid in a long time” Bobby didn’t need to say anything else for Dean to understand what he was referring to. Dean knew that leaving when he was a kid had been hard on Bobby, he felt like he’d failed him and then when Sam left…well Bobby had broken and Dean had never quite gotten over the guilt. “You’ve always been head strong that much I know, I knew Zachariah throwing a few zeros at you wouldn’t make you leave, but the idea of being far away from here would be just enough to make you run again” Bobby added the sadness in his voice was palpable and it ached in Dean’s chest.

 

They remained silent, Dean just starring wide-eyed at Bobby, unsure what to say or do. His mind was racing going over everything that had happened, the car, Bobby’s job offer, Cas... Dean paused in his thoughts his hands running across his hair as if he could pull the thoughts from the ends of the soft blonde hair.

 

“Then of course there is Castiel to consider…I warned him about getting involved” Bobby paused letting the information sink in.

 

“Yeah what the hell did you do that for?” Dean snapped.

 

“The kids in love with you! Any idjit can see that, but what are you going to do about it?” Bobby spoke calmly not wanting to anger Dean.

 

“What do you mean? What am I going to do about it?” Dean mimicked.

 

“I mean! Are you going to leave this mess behind like you’ve done so many times before…and before you say anything that is exactly what you do and you know it! How many times did you swan off to some middle of nowhere town for some must have job leaving Sammy behind and leaving me to pick up the pieces! I was there for you and your brother back then because you were just a kid but I’ll be damned if I let you do it again because I wont be there to pick up your mess this time! And I wont let you hurt Castiel, he’s been through enough!” Bobby was yelling now his face red with frustration more than anger. Yes he was mad at Dean but he was frustrated more than anything else he was an old man who was tired of chasing after a boy that didn’t want to stay.

 

“You don’t think I know that! Damn it Bobby, Cas told me everything!”

 

“Oh so he told you about his mother did he?” Bobby sounded sarcastic and Dean’s confusion and shock was clearly plastered all over his face, “Didn’t think so” Bobby was feeling smug and it showed in his tone.

 

“What about his mother?” Dean asked feeling a sudden wave of guilt and shame for not having asked him sooner.

 

“His mother abandoned him.” Bobby said flatly. Dean was stunned he hadn’t expected that, he knew Cas didn’t have a mom he never mentioned her and it was evident there was no female touch to Chuck’s house.

 

“But why didn’t he…”

 

“Say anything! Probably because he didn’t want to upset you, you are more alike than you realise. Castiel’s father, chuck, I believe you’ve met” Bobby assessed. Dean simply nodded as he listened carefully to what Bobby was telling him.

 

“Well, he didn’t know Castiel existed, poor guy woke up one morning to find a four year old little boy cold and shivering on his doorstep” Bobby paused as he tried to recall the details. “Turns out Chuck had a one night stand with a cocktail waitress he met whilst at college, not going into details but 9 months later baby Cas was born. Chuck had no idea she was pregnant and no clue he was a father until he turned up on that doorstep. Cas told me once that he remembers his childhood as running and hiding, he would spend most of his nights tucked away in the back room of a bar, that was no life for a kid”

 

Dean was back to pulling at the tie but was listening intently to the story his heart broke for Cas more so now because he knew how he felt.

 

“Why did she leave him?” Dean asked his heart felt like it was in his throat.

 

“She was running away…didn’t want the responsibility anymore. Unlike his mother though, Chuck stuck around because he loves that boy more than anything…Like father like son wouldn’t you say” Bobby gave him a hinting smile, Dean knew he was referring to Jack.

 

“Cas stuck around for Jack…because he loved him”

  
“Now you’re getting it” Bobby smirked. “So, what are you going to do about this?” Bobby asked with a smile.

 

Dean didn’t hesitate he knew what he needed to do and he wasn’t going to waste anymore time standing around looking a wreck.

 

“I have to do something” Dean smacked Bobby’s shoulder as he ran past him flying out the door.


	18. GPS system

Dean high tailed it to Cas’ house hoping he would be there, his heart faltered when he pulled up to the curb and couldn’t see Chuck’s truck anywhere. Hoping he’d taken a taxi he jumped out the car and ran up to the porch banging on the front door. When there was no response he moved over to the window having to lean across the bench that they had sat on the night before their first kiss. Dean stilled for a moment running his hand over the rough splintered wood of the back of the bench.

 

They weren’t here, the lack of lights in the window told him that. He stumbled back off the porch going sideways down the steps refusing to take his eyes off the house in the hopes that maybe he’d see Cas’ face appear at the window.

 

Dean felt defeated as he climbed back into the impala there was only one other place he could be so he revved the engine tearing down the street heading towards Chuck’s house.

 

The familiar dirt track came into view and the dust from the back wheels surrounded the car as he sped down the track, he didn’t want to waste anymore time. Just like at the last house he leapt up the front steps and pounded on the door. It didn’t take long for Chuck to come to the door, he saw Dean stood before him and immediately went to slam the door on his face but Dean’s firm fist slammed into place on the wood.

 

“Don’t you think you’ve done enough?” Chuck growled trying to keep his voice low so he didn’t upset Jack who was asleep upstairs.

 

“Where is he?” Dean sounded like a desperate man.

  
“He doesn’t want to see you” Chuck went to push the door but Dean put his foot in the way now using most of his body to fill to space.

 

“Let him tell me that! Now where is he?” Dean growled back, he wasn’t going to let Chuck get in his way he needed to see Cas now.

 

“He’s not here! Not anymore at least, he came back earlier all worked up I can only assume that was your doing. Anyway he said he needed some time alone to figure out what he was going to do he didn’t say where he was going” Chuck explained seeing the pained expression on Dean’s face broke his heart he knew what love looked like and it was glaring at him through an open doorway.

 

“You have no clue where he could have gone?” Dean’s desperation was getting worse and if he strained any harder the vain in his neck was at risk of bursting.

 

“He didn’t say” Chuck began but one slam of a fist from Dean on the door startled him into giving up what he knew “Alright, don’t break my door! He sometimes goes to the office late at night, there’s usually no one there at this time and he like the solitude, you could try there” Chuck stepped back away from the door allowing Dean to relax.

 

“Thank you Chuck” Dean nodded thanks and smiled shyly he knew he had been a bit overzealous.

 

“Dean, do one thing for me” Chuck asked Dean’s retreating back. Dean turned and nodded for him to continue. “Don’t break his heart, I don’t think I can see him go through that…not again” Chuck’s eyes were wet with tears and you could hear the heartbreak for his son.

 

“I promise, I don’t want to hurt him…damn it Chuck, I love him!” Dean’s voice broke as he laid out his heart.

 

“That’s a good reason to stay” Chuck smirked nodding at Dean to get going.

 

“Thanks Chuck” Dean smiled back bounding down the steps and climbing back into the car for the second time.

 

……………………………………………………………………

 

Dean pulled into the empty parking lot at the office, he hadn’t actually had a reason to come into the office since that first day he met Cas and it felt strange being back considering the amount of time that had passed since that day. It was slowly creeping into the early hours of the morning so Dean wasn’t surprised to find the place void of any light except for the soft hum of the emergency lighting that they kept on throughout the night. As he made his way into the lobby it dawned on him that he didn’t actually know which office belonged to Cas.

 

Dean stood still in the middle of the lobby not knowing where to go next. The building had six floors and hundreds of office space it was going to be a needle in a haystack. Flipping his phone out of his pocket he scrolled to Cas’ name in the contacts and hesitated on the call button, its not like Cas would be able to hear him even if he did call and he didn’t want to say this over the phone.

 

“Dean?” The female voice shook Dean from his thoughts as he shot his gaze across the echoing floor and was met with the red headed girl he’d met on that first day with Jack.

 

“Charlie, right?” Dean pointed suddenly gaining new hope in getting to Cas.

 

“Yeah, what are you doing here?” Charlie asked, she had a stack of files in her arms and wasn’t exactly dressed for an office environment. Her baggy top slid off her shoulder slightly as she struggled to pull it back up nearly tipping up the folders.

 

“I’m looking for someone, you working late?” he said bluntly as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He pointed to her files in question.

 

“Oh, no my boss wanted me to bring some files in for him, he’s resigning at the end of the week and wanted to get stuff sorted” She supplied not realising that the boss she was referring to was the very same person Dean was looking for. “Who was it you were looking for because I’m pretty sure we are the only ones in tonight?” Charlie asked her eyes narrowing as she pieced it all together.

 

“Um, I’m looking for Castiel, he’s one of the designers” Dean rubbed the back of his neck as the gaze from Charlie was making him very nervous.

 

“You’re him! The one he’s been pining over for months!” Her eyes went wide and the smile on her face softened Dean’s nerves.

 

“If you say so,” Dean laughed off the nerves.

 

“Wow man, you’re a legend and a dick…if you don’t mind me saying so how could you do that to him?” She suddenly went defensive, which was admirable but Dean didn’t have time for this.

 

“That’s why I’m here, I need to speak to him” Dean pleaded.

 

“I don’t think its such a good idea he’s pretty torn up, I’m not sure he’d want to see you right now” Charlie was sceptical.

 

“Son of a bitch how many of you bodyguards am I going to have to convince before I get to see Cas! I wont hurt him!” Dean spoke in short sharp words at the end making his point known.

 

“Alright calm down, he’s on the third floor second office on the right as you get out the elevator…I’ll be back in 15 minutes and when I get back I want to see you two making up or else there will be hell to pay…understand” Charlie used her best warning voice which was pretty terrifying if Dean was going to admit it, not that he would.

 

“Understood” Dean saluted the woman as he passed her a massive grin on his face as he raced for the elevator slamming the button for the 3rd floor.

 

……………………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

Cas was clearing his files. He wanted to make sure all his unused designs didn’t end up in the wrong hands so he was busy making copies of everything. It was keeping his mind off everything he was trying so hard not to think about plus it needed doing if he was resigning at the end of the week.

 

Charlie had just left to pack some files away, she had been good enough to come in so late when he had called her he didn’t realise just how late it had gotten. He had thanked her profusely and promised to name his next design after her if she helped him.

 

Hitting print on the next document Cas waited for the sound of the printer that never came. He had mostly forgotten by this point what such simple sounds were and it was moments like this alone in his office that he truly missed being able to hear. It would have been useful to hear at that point in time as the elevator doors slid open and a figure made his way down the corridor towards the office door. It wasn’t until the dark shape appeared in the doorframe that Cas finally realised he wasn’t alone, he caught the shape out of his peripheral vision and had to do a double take.

 

“Shit! Who…” Cas shot back on his computer chair that slid him as far away from the intruder as he could get in a state of shock.

 

Dean flicked the main light on illuminating the room to help calm Cas down.

 

‘It’s me, sorry if I startled you’ Dean spoke it as well as signed just to get his point across to Cas who seemed to settled slightly once he realised who it was. When Dean took a step into the room he was stopped by Cas suddenly tensing in his chair his knuckles gripping tight to the arms of the chair.

 

“How did you find me?” Cas barked at him slamming the chair behind him as he stood up to square off to Dean. He was a fraction shorter but he didn’t want to appear weak.

 

“You weren’t easy to track down that’s for sure, you got yourself some good guard dogs though I’ll give you that” Dean pointed behind him and laughed rubbing the back of his neck nervously when Cas didn’t laugh.

 

“Just leave Dean” Cas sounded defeated.

 

“I’m not going anywhere not till you talk to me” Dean snapped back signing it as he went because Cas was trying his hardest not to make eye contact with him.

 

“There’s nothing to talk about” Cas muttered, he was a broken man and Dean knew he should tread carefully but he was so frustrated he couldn’t help but get mad.

 

“So you’re just going to throw it all away, your job, your life…us?” Dean hesitated as he signed the word.

 

“I’m not throwing anything away I’m making a decision the best one I could make from a crap situation”

 

“Best for who? Hmm, you? Cause it sure as hell doesn’t seem that way to me…it looks to me like you’re running” Dean added not wanting to provoke him but it was his only defence right now.

 

“Says the serial commitment phobe!” Cas shouted back waving his hand at Dean.

 

“Yeah you’re right I did want to leave, heck I never wanted to take this job in the first place but I was doing a favour for a friend” Dean argued.

 

“Glad to know this meant so much to you” Cas was just riling him up more.

 

“Screw you! Are you blind as well as deaf! Yes I’ll admit it I wanted to leave…but that was before…” Dean couldn’t say it.

 

“Before what? Before you got a better offer maybe? Or were you just waiting for the right job to come along as far away from here as possible” Cas didn’t realise he’d stepped into Dean’s personal space until his eyes flicked down to his lips and back up to his eyes that were glistening with tears.

 

“You don’t know me,” Dean muttered quietly but Cas read every word.

 

“I thought I didn’t but I have a clearer picture now”

 

“Because of what Bobby told you I presume?” Dean laughed but it was cold.

 

“He told me who you really were, and I didn’t want to believe him but then I saw it with my own eyes” Cas’ voice was sharp.

 

“You saw nothing! You might need to brush up on your lip reading, I thanked the guy for the offer but I told him I would let him know…I was never planning on accepting the job!” Dean’s arms reached out for Cas hovering just below his shoulders wanting nothing more than to grab him and stop him from running. He slowly put his hands down when he realised what he was doing and turned away from Cas. “We are more alike than you know” Dean whispered but Cas couldn’t see it from where he was positioned. “Why didn’t you tell me about your mom?” Dean asked turning to face Cas.

 

Cas was taken aback by the question his eyes widened at the question before they softened upon realising where Dean was going with this.

 

“Bobby” Cas whispered to himself letting out a sigh of what sounded to Dean like relief.

 

“So on top of the dramatic back story you have abandonment issues too?” Dean asked with a smirk on his face, he knew it sounded harsh but it was the only way he knew how to lighten the mood.

 

“Dean! That’s not very nice” Cas pointed out.

 

“No you’re right it wasn’t, but I get it man of all the people that would understand how you feel, its me” Dean’s voice was soft.

 

“I guess I never told you because I was scared of losing you, I messed up didn’t I?”

 

“Yeah you did, how could you think I’d just leave like that after everything” Dean waved his arms around as if indicating the many things they’d been through were there in the room with them. In a way they were because Dean would carry those moments forever.

 

“Wait, so you definitely aren’t leaving?” Cas looked up at him with surprise what was Dean trying to say.

 

Dean smirked, one side of his mouth curling into one of his signature half smiles that Cas loved so much. It took Dean no more than two strides to reach Cas and launch himself into his personal space. Dean reached up hesitantly at first curling his fingers through the soft down hair at the back of Cas’ head using his finger tips to trace circles in his skin. Cas closed his eyes and just felt the movement it was calming almost hypnotising, his eyes remained closed and he suddenly tensed feeling soft warm lips pressing to his. Dean went slowly trying not to overwhelm him too much but also releasing all the emotion and unspoken feeling through his lips. It was short lived when he slowly pulled away from Cas to judge his reaction, his eyes slowly flicked open and the striking blue made his breath catch in his throat.

 

“Does that answer your question?” Dean said Cas watched his lips closely gulping back any residual feeling from the kiss.

 

“Loud and clear” Cas laughed closing the gap and kissing him with more force and passion that had built up from the moment they first met.

 

“Wait, wait just a second” Dean pulled back holding Cas at a short distance with both hands on his shoulders.

 

“What?” Cas asked confusion clear in his eyes.

 

“What now?” Dean asked

 

“I don’t follow?” Cas was very confused.

 

“I mean what now? You quit your job remember” Dean gestured to the piles of paperwork all around the room.

 

“Damn I did…do you think you could put in a good word for me with the boss?” Cas smirked up at Dean who broke into a deep laugh before leaning down and kissing him lightly.

 

“Lets go home” Dean whispered close to Cas who didn’t take his eyes off Dean’s lips as he spoke.

 

“First I wanted to say thank you, for what you did with Jack” Dean waved him off instantly as if it were nothing. “No Dean seriously, thank you, you don’t know what that means to me”

 

“He wanted to learn” Dean commented as if it were the most everyday occurrence.

 

“It was more than that Dean, the reason I never told you about my mom was because I didn’t want you to feel sorry for me. I had the most amazing childhood and I have my dad to thank for that, when Kelly told me she was pregnant I was terrified, I wanted to run away more than anything… You want to know why I stayed?” Cas asked taking Dean’s hands in his. Dean nodded letting a lone tear shed for the man. “I stayed because I held that little boy in my arms and I have never felt love like it and it made me hate my mom even more for leaving me behind. I forgave her eventually because I am reminded every day I look into Jack’s perfect eyes not to make the same mistakes she did, I love my son with all my heart and having him say it back to me means the world…and I have you to thank for that” Cas finished and Dean carefully placed his hand over his cheek wiping Cas’ own tears away.

 

“I will never hurt you” Dean said the words he’d spoken to so many people all night long leading him here and now he was making those words a promise to the one person he meant it.

 

“I believe that” Cas replied.

 

Dean took Cas’ hand in his and pulled him towards the door.

 

“Where are we going?” Cas asked a short laugh escaping his lips.

 

“I told you, we’re going home” Dean pressed the button on the elevator and by the time the doors opened he was being pushed inside and up against the far wall as hungry hands worked their way over his chest and up under his shirt.

 

The elevator doors closed with a thud.


	19. unexpected guests

Dean felt a weight on his chest as a bright light shone in his eyes making it very difficult for him to focus on his surroundings. He tried to move but the weight was pinning him down. He suddenly felt a warm breath on his neck as he managed to peel one eye open and glance down to find a mop of black hair resting on his chest. 

He soon realised that he was in an unfamiliar bed a sheet just covering his waist and laid on his bare chest was a similarly naked form of Cas. His hand was wrapped over the others mans shoulders and was resting on his back, without realising he began running circles with his fingertips over Cas’ back and he soon began to stir awake. Cas’ hand curled further around Dean’s chest just under his arm and the movement sent a chill down his side. Not that Dean would ever admit his weakness but he was ticklish.

“Mornin’ sunshine” Dean spoke softly as Cas’ eyes opened and looked up at him. 

A small groan escaped Cas’ lips, he obviously wasn’t a morning person, something Dean was going to have to learn if this was how it was going to be from now on. 

“What time is it?” Cas asked using his arms to push himself up so he was leant against Dean’s body looking around him for any sign of the time. 

“Just after 12” Dean muttered holding out his phone for Cas to see the time.   
“Shit” Cas huffed as he struggled to sit up, still groggy from sleep. 

“Everything okay?” Dean signed to get his attention. 

“I didn’t tell my dad where I was going last night he’ll be worrying about me” Cas spoke quietly as he stretched over Dean to grab his pants that were somehow hanging from the lamp on the other side of the bed. Cas studied the piece of clothing with a smirk on his face. “Someone was eager last night” He raised his eyebrow at Dean who simply shrugged it off and laughed. 

“Says you, who had my shirt off by the time we got to the porch, I’m surprised we even made it upstairs” Dean commented and then Cas’ eyes shot wide as he looked around the room they were in. 

“Shit” He muttered again. 

“What’s up now?” Dean asked sitting up and positioning himself beside Cas, his hand still on his back now rubbing up and down in a calming motion. 

“This was Kelly’s room, after the fire we did it up but I kept it relatively the same layout and design…I thought if I redecorated it wouldn’t feel so wrong to sleep in here you know” Cas explained and Dean couldn’t help but place a warming kiss to Cas’ shoulder. 

“I get that…if it helps you didn’t just sleep in here” Dean smirked against his shoulder feeling Cas’ shoulder rise and fall as he let out a short laugh. 

“You know what I mean,” Cas teased.

“Yeah, but she wouldn’t want you to avoid it forever, she’d want you to move on” Dean rested his chin on his shoulder trying to get as close as he could. 

“No, you’re right” Cas took a moment to look around the room before turning to face Dean and planting a soft slow kiss on his lips. 

Last night it had been hungry almost desperate as they wasted no time in tearing their clothes off each other and landing into bed. Dean had slowed it down somewhat and it had quickly become passion over hunger. 

Dean took a deep breath in holding Cas close to him for a moment and taking in his sweet smell. He was enjoying the moment just the two of them when the doorbell broke them from their bubble.

The jolt from Dean was enough to tell Cas that something was going on. 

“What’s wrong?” Cas asked. 

“Doorbell?” Dean was more curious than anything, who could possible know they were there and so early in the morning. 

“Can you grab the door then, I need to face-time Jack” Cas got up off the bed pulling himself free from Dean’s reluctant to let go hands. 

Dean grabbed his shirt from the banister on the stairs as he made his way down slipping it on quickly before he got to the front door. The frosted glass obscured his view of the visitor and hopefully preserved his decency. He pulled the door open and was surprised to find Lisa standing on the porch, she had a shoulder bag hanging off her arm but she was holding it close to her middle. She had her hair pulled up in a ponytail, with her hair out of her face it was easier to see the expression of what Dean interpreted as fear on her face. 

“Hey Dean, sorry to bother you but…we need to talk” The three dreaded words no man ever wants to hear from his ex-girlfriend, standing on the porch of his new boyfriends ex-girlfriends house. It was complicated. “Can I come in?” She sounded hesitant as if she was nervous to even ask. Dean glanced over his shoulder up the stairs, he wasn’t sure how Cas would react after they’d just spent all that time trying to work things out maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to have your ex-girlfriend hanging out in the kitchen. 

“Um…maybe we should talk out here…Cas is upstairs” Dean looked sheepish as he shrugged his shoulders and tried to move her onto the porch closing the door behind him. 

“Of course, Bobby mentioned you two were seeing each other now…he also told me where to find you” She suddenly turned away from him taking the few steps down to the grass bellow. “This is slightly awkward…” She still had the bag clutched to her front holding onto it like a lifeline. 

“Lisa what’s going on? you wouldn’t have come here unless it was important” Dean stayed on the porch’s top step looking down at the woman he once thought he’d spend the rest of his life with. 

“You’re right, I wouldn’t…Dean….I’m pregnant” She moved the shoulder bag away to reveal a small bump protruding from her stomach she had her hands by her side in a grand reveal type stance. 

Dean stilled, he could feel his breath catching in his throat and a sudden tightening feeling appeared somewhere deep in his chest. His mind began racing, he was filling his mind with ways to respond, to speak the correct words that would make this situation ten times easier but nothing seems to fall from his lips. 

“How do you know…”

“Its yours? I’m 5 months along, Dean, the last time we…” 

“Oh…” Dean raised his eyebrows in realisation, the month before she threw him out the day they had moved into their little flat they had celebrated. 

“I know this is a shock, it was a shock to me too…but I want this Dean and I don’t really care if you don’t want to be a part of her life but…”

“Wait! Her?” Dean interrupted taking a step down off the porch so he was face to face with Lisa, he glanced down at the bump trying to wrap his head around the fact his child was growing inside her. 

“It’s a girl” Lisa smiled so brightly as she placed a hand over the top of her belly looking down briefly at the little life she held. 

“I want to be a part of this” Dean snapped to attention looking directly at Lisa forcing her to stare back locking eyes with him. 

“Are you sure? What about Castiel?” She pointed at the door behind him as if that were enough to represent Cas as a person. Dean suddenly looked back at the house and remembered where he was, he completely forgot about Cas for a moment there. 

“I’ll talk to him…but Lisa this is about us, I want to make this work” Dean looked back at Lisa the seriousness in his voice reassured her. 

“Okay, lets make this work” Lisa smiled brightly revealing the crinkles by her eyes. “We’re really doing this?” 

“I guess so” Dean shrugged as if he hadn’t just heard the biggest news of his entire life. 

“For the record Dean, I’m happy for you…I know we didn’t work out but its not like nothing good didn’t come from our time together and I know Castiel will be a big part of our daughters life as well and I’m okay with that…most kids are lucky enough to have one parent, ours gets three” Lisa beamed and Dean couldn’t help but feel the prick of tears behind his eyes at her words. He understood when they first split up why she had been so hostile towards him and Cas but hearing her say those words filled him with so much hope for the future. Dean knew she was right about Cas, he would be fine with this. 

And Dean was right. After Lisa left he immediately told Cas was had happened he knew keeping this sort of thing from him for longer than he needed to would only make it worse off in the long run if Cas didn’t react the way he hoped. 

But he was amazing about it. Dean had pulled him into the living room and sat him down, the look on Cas’ face must have mirrored Dean’s own look of shock after he had found out the news and it certainly was a picture because Dean couldn’t help but laugh at the surprised expression. 

“You’re not mad about this?” Dean had asked cautiously eyeing him up when his expression didn’t change fast enough. 

“I don’t know what to say” Cas had responded his hand wrapped in Dean’s who was perched on the edge of the sofa beside him. “I suppose a baby is a happy occasion,” Cas had reasoned more with himself than Dean. 

“So you aren’t mad that it’s with Lisa?” Dean pushed the topic a little. He needed to know where they stood on the situation. 

“I don’t care that it’s with Lisa” Cas smiled at Dean meeting his gaze. 

“I suppose its not ideal…I had even hoped that maybe one day me and you could have a baby some how, adoption, surrogate or whatever” Dean mumbled looking down at their entwined hands. 

“Dean we haven’t even been on a first date yet” Cas chuckled knowing their relationship wasn’t exactly conventional. 

“I know but considering everything its not exactly a surprise that we’re doing this all the wrong way round” Dean laughed finally looking back up at Cas. 

“We’ll make it work thought” Cas responded placing a hand over Dean’s cheek and leaning in slowly pressing his lips over Dean’s so softly before pulling away. 

“I hope you have the space, cause I come with baggage” 

“How much space do you need?” Cas had replied laughing as he kissed Dean again.


	20. The end

One year later 

Dean slammed the offending piece of plastic against the seat of the car trying to force it into place. He had thrown the instructions away almost immediately adamant that he didn’t need them despite Cas’ objections. 

“Damn piece of crap why wont you click!” Cas had told him he would need to push it into place until he heard it click and he’d been out here 20 minutes already. 

“Cas! Why wont it work?” Dean bellowed back at the house and a few moments later Cas appeared wearing a very sharp looking suite and holding a wriggling baby over his towel clad shoulder. The small piece of plastic imbedded in his ear seemed to gleam as it hit the sunlight as he made his way over to Dean. 

“You know this hearing aid makes everything twice as loud in this ear” Cas pointed at the little object in his ear and scowled at Dean. It hadn’t been long after they had got together when Cas had applied for a research project looking into the effects of blast damage on hearing. He had undergone a new procedure to attach a hearing aid to what remained of his eardrum essentially creating a film so he could regain some of his hearing. It was only applicable to one of his ears unfortunately as the other was too badly damaged but he had regained at least 40% of his hearing in one of his ears. 

“Sorry babe” Dean rubbed his hand over Cas arm, “now how do I do this?”

“I told you push it until it clicks” Cas was rubbing his hand back and forth over the babies back. 

“I’m pushing and it’s not clicking!” Dean growled more at the car seat than Cas. 

“Here you take Emma and I’ll do this” Cas held the 8 month old little girl out to Dean who gladly took his daughter and gently placed her on his hip. He stroked her dark coloured hair that was curling at the ends just like her mothers. He placed a soft kiss to her head as he rocked her back and forth trying to calm down. 

He watched Cas lean into the car and took the opportunity to admire just how tailored his suite really was. 

“Dean stop looking at my ass while you’re holding your daughter” Dean felt like a school boy being told off as he averted his gaze to anywhere but Cas when he finally turned round with a raised eyebrow. 

“How do you do that?” Dean conceded looking at Cas. 

“Can’t reveal my secrets…” Cas paused because Dean’s eyes had drifted down his body “Will you stop it!” Cas swatted the arm not holding Emma and laughed at Dean. 

“Well stop looking so damn good in a suite” Dean laughed back. Emma decided this was her moment to jump in as she babbled out what she deemed words. 

“See Emma agrees with me, now behave yourself,” Cas pointed at him turning back to the car seat and effortlessly clicking it into place. 

“Show off” Dean muttered into Emma’s hair trying to hide it from Cas, but the sharp look he gave him told him he’d not succeeded. 

“Daddy, Dean we have to go!” Jack came bounding out the house also dressed up in a very smart white shirt and waistcoat that Dean had picked out for him at the store after Jack had kicked up a fuss not wanting to wear a suite like his dad. 

“Alright let me grab Emma’s things and then we can go” Cas ruffled Jack’s hair as he passed into the house returning soon after locking the front door and carrying a large shoulder bag. 

Cas took Emma off Dean and secured her into her car seat and quickly fastened Jack’s seatbelt making sure he was secure as well before joining Dean in the front. 

…………………………………………………………………

The party was slowly dying down as people began to head home or to the pre-booked hotel rooms. It was still pretty busy in the reception hall with most of the guests on the dance floor and the odd few hiding out on the fairy light lit terrace. Dean was grabbing another drink from the bar when he glanced over at the small table they had commandeered for the night. He could see Cas sitting with his feet up on a chair beside him and Emma nestled securely in his arms lying almost flat out along his body fast asleep. Jack was far too busy trying not to stand on the hem of the brides dress as a swayed around her. 

Dean’s eyes were met by the familiar brown eyes of Lisa her hair tied up in braids and curls with a sparkling tiara perched atop her hair. She looked nothing like the day she appeared on the front porch to tell him she was pregnant with Emma. Today she was dressed all in white, her puffed out dress had a long train that she was trying desperately not to lose in the sea of dancing drunken people. He couldn’t help but wave at her from the bar and she smiled brightly back at him. 

The moment was interrupted by the presence of the groom, Michael was a well-liked co-worker of Dean and Cas and it was them who had introduced Lisa to the tall dusty blonde man shortly after Emma was born. He watched as Michael wrapped his arms around his bride and pulled her in as the music changed to a slow song. They looked so much in love and Dean couldn’t help the smile on his face as his eyes drifted towards Cas who was now sat with his eyes closed and his head falling forward, his chin resting on Emma’s head. 

“Five more minutes Jack, think your dads getting tired” Dean called over the music to the little boy who smiled and nodded at his step father and continued to dance with one of the bridesmaids. 

Dean placed his drink on the table beside Cas and slipped his hands over his shoulders gently stirring his boyfriend awake. Cas sucked in a deep breath through his nose and lifted his head assessing his surroundings and pulling his arms closer around the sleeping baby on his chest. “I fell asleep?” Cas asked running his hand over the soft hair on Emma’s head. 

“Yeah you did, it’s about time we head back don’t you think?” Dean kissed the top of Cas’ head and reached round to sweep away the curling fringe on his daughters face.

“Yeah time for bed” Cas muttered pulling his feet off the chair and supporting Emma with his free hand. 

“I’ll just go say goodbye to Lisa and grab Jack you set off back to the car I’ll be there shortly” Dean ushered Cas out the chair and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek watching him leave. As if she had heard him speak, Lisa appeared with Jack in tow. 

“This little man managed to step on a few too many toes, think he’s getting sleepy too” Dean looked down at Jack whose eyes were dropping and snapping open, obviously trying his best to stay awake. He was a determined little boy that’s for sure. 

“Thanks Lisa, and thank you for inviting us, I know its not usually the done thing inviting your ex-boyfriend and his new family to your wedding” Dean muttered rubbing his neck.

“You are family, Dean! Don’t ever forget that, you gave me the best thing in my life and I’ll always love you for that…as for your little family” She smirked stroking Jack’s hair “When are you going to make it official?” She raised an eyebrow at him and pointed at her own shiny gold ring. 

Dean scoffed and nearly choked on his own inhale. “You mean…me and Cas?” Dean laughed but a part of him didn’t find it all that funny. He loved Cas with all his heart but the man hadn’t seemed interested in the idea of getting married, they hadn’t even mentioned it. 

“I’m pretty sure if you asked him he’d say yes” She smiled placing a reassuring hand over his shoulder. 

“But…we work together?” Dean tried, it was a lame excuse and he knew it he was just scared. 

“Not an excuse”

“But…you and Emma” He tried again

“Nope try again,” Lisa laughed

“He…he…” 

“He what Dean? He loves you if what…listen to me! He trusts you enough to be like a father to his little boy and he sees your child as if she were his own flesh and blood! Trust me when I say this…He will definitely say yes!” Lisa pushed him playfully as she emphasised the yes. 

“You think?” 

“I know!” Lisa added. “Now I believe this sleepy child is yours get him home and tell Cas how you feel!” 

………………………………………………………………………..

They had driven home in silence, since Cas had regained some of his hearing he liked to listen to music in the car but he was far too tired to be bothered so he’d quickly fallen asleep against the window. Dean glanced in the rear-view mirror and his heart swelled at the sight of his two children. This time last year they were just beginning their life together and Dean could never have imagined when he finally found that special person that it would come with such an incredibly bright and happy little bonus. Emma completed the set, his own little princess with his sharp green eyes and the same thick brown hair she inherited from Lisa but sometimes Dean selfishly liked to think it made her look more like Cas. One day, he thought. 

He pulled into the drive and shut off the engine, the silence actually stirred Cas awake he must have realised they’d stopped. 

“We home?” He asked with a sleepy dry voice.

“Yeah we’re home, kids are both asleep” He pointed behind him and Cas glanced behind him and smiled warmly at the sight. Dean huffed out a breath, which drew Cas’ attention. 

“Are you okay dean? Is it the wedding? I know that cant have been easy for you” Cas asked gently wrapping his fingers over Dean’s thigh. 

“No, no its not the wedding, I mean yeah I was nervous but it was actually a lot better than I expected, I had a nice time” Dean looked down at the hand over his leg and with a half smile gripped Cas’ fingers looking for some support. 

“But you’re not okay?” Cas asked knowing Dean well enough to know he wasn’t okay. 

“It’s just something Lisa said that’s all” there was a long pause were Cas just looked at Dean and Dean looked in the mirror at his sleeping babies. “Cas…do you want to marry me?” Dean didn’t hesitate he knew if he didn’t get it out now he would never get the courage he needed in his sleep deprived state. 

“Of course I will” Cas’ voice was quiet so Dean almost thought he imagined it, but when he looked up at Cas with hope in his eyes all he saw was love and a beaming smile. 

“You will!” 

“I will!” Cas flung his arms around Dean’s neck and kissed him fiercely he didn’t even care if the kids woke up because all he needed now was Dean in his arms forever. 

And that’s just what he was going to get. 

“Ewww, get a room” Jack’s little voice appeared from the back seat startling to the two adults into reality as they turned with tears in their eyes and broke into fits of laughter at their little boy.

“Who taught you that?” Cas asked through huffed laughs.

“Uncle Sammy” Jack was giggling now knowing he wasn’t in trouble.

“I’m going to kill him” Dean shook his head before turning to look back at Cas he gently pressed their foreheads together and leant in for another kiss. 

The shrill shriek from Emma really broke the mood. 

Cas turned to look at his daughter before silently flicking the off switch on his hearing aid. 

 

 

THE END


End file.
